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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Disjointed

If this was proofed by an editor, you need to get a new one. Numerous typos, grammar problems, different POV's, tenses, bad sentence structure and just downright confusing. You also said it was a long chapter, I would hardly consider one page long.

Couldn't get past the first few paragraphs. Have a read of YOUR story, lots of errors in the first few paragraphs.

good start

I like the story so far. I just have a minor issue with your povs. During Damion's pov things started getting a little wonky. The pov kept changing. First it was Damion then it changed to a third person pov. Then back to Damion then Ben then the third person then back to Damion. It was a little distracting. Other then that I liked it and can't wait for the next chapter.

Lol. i am a huge fan of Kresley Cole. This was a good story, but it doesn't hold a candle next to Kresley's works

Great story, really enjoying it, so different to what everyone else has written.

However, you have some really weird usage of words. "explosion of savours". There are lots of others in both chapters, they're out of place or have nothing to do with the sentence you've written.

More

I like this slow build up. Keep it up!!!
Waiting impatiently for the next part

Refreshing!

What a story telling gift you have!!!!!! I absolutely LOVE how this isn't your "typical" man smells her - man must take her on the spot - woman gets kidnapped or taken and now needs rescuing story!!!!! If this stays a quiet and simple love story it will one of the BEST! (But that's just my opinion :) ) I look forward to the next chapters.

So interesting!

This is really good, goofy, sexy and above all else unique!

Very well written

Love the development and build up. Can't wait for the next chapter. Thank you for keeping grammar, punctuation, and spelling in mind. So many stories have good plots and intriguing characters but are undermined by poor writing, ruining the reader's enjoyment. You have both skill and talent. Keep up the good work.

Ariesgirl- name switch

Yes you are right. There was the mix up and I didn't catch it until after it posted. Sorry about that. I will continue to write, but It will be spaces between post. Thank you all so much for simply reading.

Hmmmmmmm did I just find a new story to add to my fav list? Loving it can't wait til the new chapter don't keep us waiting long!

great second chapter

I thought this chapter was just as good as the first..keep it up! Can't wait till the next one.

Desparately needs an editor

Great story, but the grammar and spelling errors, including entire words being missing, is a huge distraction. I would offer to edit if I could log onto my actual profile. If edited properly would be worth 5 stars. Without only 2, sorry.

I'm sorry to see this story end. It felt like I was there with them. This chapter was very emtional. I cried along with the family when Keamon died.

Was there a mix up with Logan's name? You used the name Larry in the last couple of paragraphs after Betty's dad called. If I'm wrong my apologies.

I will be eagerly waiting on more of your work. Enjoy the rest of your summer.

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