All Comments on 'An Evening T/together Part 10'

If you string all of the evening together you get a boring collection of "He did this, then that". Perhaps the image you had in your mind excited you as you put your words down, but you did not transfer any of that excitement to the paper. This is an excellent example of "telling" instead of "showing". It does not make for good poetry.

Contrary to the comment before mine, I loved this short story. It definitely excited me.. and another friend.. chuckles.

Wonderfully written.