All Comments on 'blow'

Very evocative. All I can say is that certain sentences and words have especially worked. This is another one where I feel you've taken separate scenes/images and mixed them together. My attempt to separate them:

1:

put it in my mouth

all in my mouth

i want you in my mouth

all in my mouth

i want your seed past my lips

2:

fuck my face

it's the right kind of place

my jaw is made of steel

the force of you makes me cry

3:

forget down south

forget about my bum

don't think about my hips

4:

i love how full you feel

i want to suck you dry

let me swallow your essence

give it to me now

I find this thing you did (mixing these four parts) very interesting. If you presented them as I did, above, it would be rather dry. The way you've woven it together gives it an entirely different pace, makes it a scene, something that accompanies pictures...

Wow, thanks again for reading and commenting.

To be completely honest, I was buzzed while writing this. I don't really care for this one, but I got so much feedback on my other site, I decided to include it. You're right though, it would sound dry if they were all separated. This is one I might actually rework.

<3

I like your concentration in the job at hand!

5

Thank you!