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Click hereSing me blues, my gentle music man.
Play me heartache, heal the painful soul,
The hurting heart with your sweet empathy.
The music cries loss, sadness, takes a toll
On the musician. He feels acutely
Raw with the deep emotion of the song
He plays. A mournful rhythm, minor key,
Evoking distant memories. A long
Slow riff, slide guitar, sad refrain, he sings
Tragedy, wasted time, relationships
That, going nowhere, pull at his heartstrings,
Make him weep. Something deep within him rips
Music out to the surface. Hear his voice,
Transformative. We listeners rejoice.
The sonneteer is on a roll here. You've got some really good line breaks on this one; they pull the reader along the way the sentences are split between lines while giving added emphasis to the thoughts you choose to express with these splits. IMHO, this is one of your better ones. Kudos.
I'm flattered that you wrote a blues sonnet that mine helped to inspire (I saw your comment on the forum). As usual, you get the form just right: I love the way you flow sentences across lines. The only nitpick I have is with the word "gentle." It's not that it's wrong, but it's not one I'd immediately associate with blues musicians or playing the blues. I think you could find a better adjective for that spot, but maybe that's me. The blues I hear in this are old-style traditional Delta blues. You'll have to tell me if that was your intention.
Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Reviews thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read!