Cheshire

I had hardly come out of the roundness of childhood,
That era of rosy cheeks and gap-toothed smiles,
When I fell down the rabbit hole.
I was too big to fit through the door.
I came to the bottle labelled Drink Me
The cake labelled Eat Me.

I could not eat the cake, I could not
How else was I to fit through the door?
I was too large
Too bulky
Too fat
I chose to drink until I was small enough to fit through that wretched portal
And once I was empty, tiny
I trembled and shook, my skin near translucent
A walking bag of bones
A living corpse
The world span when I stood up
And I cried and I screamed and I drew the razors over my veins,
Bleeding, sweet release, dead, dead, dead.
I spent so long in those twilight lands
A lost little girl smashing every mirror she came across
Seven years bad luck each time,
Manifesting itself as the image of my reflection.

And then, I saw the Cat.
He was lounging in a tree,
A cigarette between his lips and a book in his hand
Wearing nothing but a pair of jeans and a smirk.
The Cat only spoke in rhymes and riddles, vexed me and took pleasure from it
Would quite often disappear and leave me nothing but his wide grin
But when he picked up his guitar and let the melodies come from his throat
I saw his music, felt it, breathed it, and it was beautiful.
I listened to him up there in those lofty heights, playing his songs
The words flowing smoothly from his sweet lips
Until one day he reached down with one paw, sheathed his claws and pulled me up.

That night my fingers wrapped tightly around his soft fur
All I could hear was his low purrs, all I could sense was his warmth when he moved around me,
His tail flicking across my bare legs
And in the morning I did not leave, did not even think of it
For what girl would rather play croquet
Than prowl along the secret passageways that only a Cat can know
Watch his feline grace, sleep where he sleeps, feel his whiskers brush across her cheeks
Or experience that warm glow when he grins at her
Which tells her that for once
She is beautiful.