All Comments on 'Gone Down'

who passed his fiefdom to his oldest son-in-law

who himself succumbed to duty

-----Harry how effortlessly U have shown inheritance passin' from one Alpha Male to another : welcome back was missin' ur warmth 'round here !!5-ed .

truly epic piece, so much imagery shown, such a captivating way you wove through it all. I need to read this numerous times to let all the detail sink in.

I agree with Todski on this. I'll have to read it some more, but it certainly kept my interest. At first blush, I'd say it wasn't a vacation as much as a pilgrimage. It had a very dreamlike quality to it which added to my interest because I could imagine this a dream as much as a trip. The first stanza of "Leonard's Haus" was somewhat confusing to me regarding "Matriarchy."

you do better. also, some interesting EOL's here. Word choice exquisite: "revolving age of Matriarchy" (my balls almost fell off) "gawkable décor" (here too), nice selective use of sound throughout. This is a nice play:....

reading:

High Water Mark Katrina.

to

... back to the hills,

far from kin and high water marks

Some things to reconsider:

bearding twisted limbs

like pennants. < unless this is a word play, penance, still not good, cliched

smiling down on frowns < consider change to "to", although a weal line in a prome spot.

Very nice, glad I read it. 5ed.

I am so glad you submitted this and I'm proud that it started life in my thread!

Still - a celebration of endurance, no matter the circunstances.

Beautiful!

I forgot how good this is, the sounds and images tie together and sing a perfect song of pilgrimage and discovery, where is your E where is the H?

epic, a cavalcade of sights and textures and a rush of rhythm that propels this along at a ponderous pace to drink it all in. even years later and with some new insights on writing this piece is exceptional

not anon, butters:

this is one of your very best, H.

personal knowledge and attachment lends it credence, as your visuals take us by the hand to walk through emotional verity.

this is your poetry:- brave enough to take what's going on inside your heart and your mind, then spin it into a tale a reader can connect with. :heart: