Jigsaw Soul

Tiny pieces of me are strewn about the room
of who i was
who i am
who i want to be
it looks like random stuff
to anyone else but me
even my love does not see it
he just sees the mess
and we try to figure out
how to make room for it
how to store it all somehow...

the books i read
and wanted to read
before i stopped losing concentration
sparkly, glittery things
to pretend i feel beautiful
a necklace rack
from when people bought me
pretty things
empty now
because i lost them along the way

shoes for comfort
as if i'm comfortable anymore
clothes i wish i still fit in
but would have nowhere to wear anyhow
a book of poems from when i was younger
and folders from hospitalizations
pastels and paper
and pictures from a wedding
from back when i had friends
a basket of medication
and a box of tissues
a cage that's turned into a towel rack
and little things i don't need
but need to look at
stuffed in cardboard boxes
with no tops
things i can never find
but are always there

you can find all of me
if you look around from this couch
what you cannot see
what i cannot see
the one thing i do not think is here at all
is how to bring these things together
how to put this all back together
how to put this soul back together
so that i can feel whole again
and it won't take a room full of junk
to see who i am anymore.