by demure101
let's get THAT out of the way, also I an prefacing this by saying this is a higher order of craft, I am just questioning the judgement.
1.) I prefer more periods than dashes. the sentence does run on
2.) the encasement. square there's/ at the beginning and their/there at the end comes off as a bit fey.
that said. I hand out 5's like candy. this one deserves it.
an aside, I mentioned you (but not by name) in one of my PO'ed rants, referring to an incident last year, where someone said, "what is she, your girlfriend?" because I recommended she read you. Just thought I'd amuse you with that story. Grrlfriend. Note misspelling folks, Grr