All Comments on 'notes on becoming a man'

Not a pleasant read though powerfully filled with masculine pain — the sort never spoken of publicly.

the shape of this concrete poem is brilliant in the way you made me hear the voices. I was cringing by the second: shut the fuck up.

It really is an amazing construction. The combination of terse language and the offbeat formatting communicates just the edgy, alternating shouty-whispery tone I think you intend. You have a Beats-influenced post-modern rhythm in this (and many of your poems) that works just right for me. :-)

I agree with Champ and Ange, however it became boring and a little too whiney. Perhaps one less shut the fuck up a little more speaking up?

"it's hard being a man/

livin' in a garbage can"

- Lou Reed