by SeattleRain
takes too long to make its point. Shocking language ends up feeling gratuitous.
Fly
Agree with T - intense, and kind of sad, all at the same time
Disagree with F - you have a shitload (excuse, please) of powerful lines, images, I do not think you could have trimmed much, to get across what you did without it.
Boldy goes where no man has gone before...it is not "poetic" and a little disturbing, reminds me a little of WickedEve, someone else that dares not to be "poetic", not to pander. There is a lot going on here if one can force oneself to look beyond the obvious. I do not love it, it can be trimmed a little, but it is an honest 5(100).
OMG and holy shit! (no pun)
This is bad, it's good! I'll have to agree with another who said the message took a little too long. It should be trimmed.
and stinks to high heaven...*LOL*...it sure gets its point across vividly. nicely done seattle......don