by SeattleRain
and stinks to high heaven...*LOL*...it sure gets its point across vividly. nicely done seattle......don
OMG and holy shit! (no pun)
This is bad, it's good! I'll have to agree with another who said the message took a little too long. It should be trimmed.
Agree with T - intense, and kind of sad, all at the same time
Disagree with F - you have a shitload (excuse, please) of powerful lines, images, I do not think you could have trimmed much, to get across what you did without it.
Boldy goes where no man has gone before...it is not "poetic" and a little disturbing, reminds me a little of WickedEve, someone else that dares not to be "poetic", not to pander. There is a lot going on here if one can force oneself to look beyond the obvious. I do not love it, it can be trimmed a little, but it is an honest 5(100).
takes too long to make its point. Shocking language ends up feeling gratuitous.
Fly