by rubyslipper
I loved it. Very intense. My only criticism and it's a minor one, is the inconsistent use of I. It is lower case (and thusly the timid I) in one spot and the more assertive upper case I in another. Given the strength of the words, capitals in both cases would have been better and more in line with the message, but this is a quibble. Great work.
A couple of places might need a little polish, but hard to isolate.
On the obsidian - are you well-versed in petrology or just an interest? I'm much more into structure/tectonics.
Obsidian is commonly found within the margins of rhyolitic lava flows known as obsidian flows, where the chemical composition (high silica content) induces a high viscosity and polymerization degree of the lava.
Nice sound to it; however, unless I'm misunderstanding the image, I don't see how something obsidian can flow without some poetic devise that transforms it to the tears, lust, scorn or any combination of those that I imagine to be flowing.