All Comments on 'on the boat'

not your best sandy, but still a lot better than most! I would lose "paul" from the first line and the commas from line 8. There are just a couple of cliches, which is so unusual from such an effortless wordsmith. x

I think this was a great piece! The imagery is tantalyzing! I enjoyed reading it, then savoring it! Well done!

a literary journey

A few outstanding lines here

"creamy angels, dressed up as clouds,"

You break the illusion a little here and there, where it almost slips into cliché, ("We were divine; we were sublime." is telling and not showing) but all in all, you deliver a solid picture of paradise proportions. Me likey.

kind of takes away from what is a good verse. (infinite horizon, how bout potential horizon, or sanguin horizon, or--must be sumptin else). Always was a sucker for art references, so I overlooked a couple of words that bugged me....5

though EH has some good points, I found a lot of lines that were wonderfully surreal. The last line especially.

jth : )