by Koba
This poem is mentioned in today's New Poem Review in the Poetry Feedback & Discussion Forum. Thanks for the read!
I really liked this, and for the most part it's a very strong piece. I wonder if it might be even stronger without a few of the gerund verbs - I'm not a purist where the -ing ending is concerned but I did feel like that verb form weakened a couple of your lines. The first five or six lines and the ending lines were both immensely powerful. Really good work in general.
I always love your work and this is no exception. It is beautiful and works the imagination.