All Comments on 'Prison Daydream'

it's appealing because it has a nice quiet feeling to it--a sort of meditative simplicity, which is--to my thinking--what a daydream should convey. I like the wordplay, the twist on "warm" and "lie." Two suggestions: 1) lose the two periods; I think this poem works better without punctuation, both because of its brevity and to work the dreamy wordflow, and more important 2) I don't like "sense the shadows." I'm pretty sure I understand the image you're going for, but I don't think that phrase is capturing it. How about "and wear the shadows..." Huh? Whaddaya think, poet guy? :)

...you're right on both counts! In my master copy, the periods are now gone. It took me a bit, but "wear" might indeed be better image word. (I was a little too wound up in the sound of the esses).

Thanks, fair lady!

I sorta liked this, but something about it sticks in my craw and I dunno if I can put my finger on it. It feels a little off. I'm'a re-read it a couple times and get back to you.

Simple but with complex images. I like the word play in the last verse.