All Comments on 'Sic Transit'

that was a marathon! There were a few things that jarred the "hurt in the yurt" line almost killed this for me and the cell phone seemed an invasion but I suppose that is exactly what it was. In whole this is an amazing piece but some of the line breaks grated on me, not enough to over-whelm the power of this poem however...wonderful write, great imagery. thank you Sabina

A marathon, yes, but you ran six extra miles! Some wonderful images but it simply goes on too long. Unlike "stones," which pulled me headlong through each piece and vision, this one wanders off the main path for too often.

Good to see your work, though.

Fly

Writng a clever, original engaging epic. Love the line breaks, original metaphor and word usage. Great to be reading you again, you old rascal.

...of the language is obvious. Your pen is smooth and gentle in a way that can not be taught.

I do not sense a wholeness in the poem, however, as I did with "Stones." It feels liked a somewhat forced tour-de-force, whereas stones felt more like something you were discovering as you meandered through a maze.

Some of the repetitions and line breaks seem more affected here. That is said not as criticism (since your work is such a pleasure to read and ponder), but as critique, to give you one more little thought to mull over in case you were planning on trying to improve the overall texture of the poem.

It is indeed a pleasure to be seeing work from you again.

I still haven't read it all.

I'm trying to see if anything jolts the deja vu banks.

Bondage and yak butter?