by Decayed Angel
this is a great poem. It took me there and thats the most you can ask of any poem. :)
i've never been to the specific area you are describing but i can relate to it through other geographical areas. your imagery and language are 'full' and i enjoyed reading this poem.
...to your poem the other day. There are a number of really good images/phrases in the poem. "stars dimming / as the door closed and the cigarette / settling onto the ash tray" I think is especially vivid.
"Caney" confuses me a bit. Not too much, as I am assuming I don't really need to know any particulars—I assume this is a generic name? "gravel blares" is also a bit confusing, but I assume this is metaphoric—evoking a deep throated singer in the club.
"it's" in L17 should be "its" I think.
Nice poem.
I asked for a half dozen oysters with my forgotten dreams and you served them beautifully.
and this line just knocks me out.
"the cigarette
settled onto the ash tray, it’s final embers
lighting her breasts in an inviting sheen."