The Lion Dies, The Rat Survives

The Lion Dies,The Rat Survives.
By D.E. Johnson

I remember well when I first held you in my arms,
I followed you everywhere,
I loved no other;
You were the one I clung to.

When I loved I felt your life inside,
and thus I continued on,
through the storms that rocked my life,
unable to love any other.

Then you left me to stand all alone,
you left me in the middle of a fight;
A fight for survival.
You left me for another.

You made this world so beautiful,
but you left one of your children to die.
I was the one that fell to betrayal,
I was the one that fell off to the side.

But by God’s grace I was able to survive,
I can not die,
for I continue no matter what;
I survived the cell I was locked in.

I survived the wounds that bled me dry,
I survived the loss of your love,
I grew even without you inside,
though I could not love another.

You took my spiritual virginity,
you were the first to possess me,
you were the first to betray me,
you were the first to cast me aside.

Yet I continued on,
no mother or father to guide,
I left them all behind,
for I had to survive,
I would not just lay down and die.

I searched for you wherever I went,
hoping to see,
where it was you’ve gone,
praying that I would no longer struggle on;
Alone.

But you I can not see,
I’m as blind and cannot open my eyes,
for I’m afraid of what I’ll see,
I’d rather die then behold what you have to show me,
You have broken me.

I used to be happy,
now I am a man at war,
with forces so much stronger than me;
Why did you abandon me?

The price of my wisdom was pain,
and the results of pain was insanity,
that twists my mind,
and makes me unstable.

Yet I fight on,
its the way of my tribe,
we never die,
if its at all possible;
We survive.

We survive rape,
We survive heartache,
We lift our heads as slaves,
and we survive the blood that stains our hands.

We struggle on despite the anguish,
that accompanies loneliness,
Just as we fight on,
even when we must kill,
we survive.

And so I’ll make it,
though it may cost all my dignity,
and I may be without pride,
but I will survive.

I just wish I could believe,
that you still loved me,
for you never talk to me;
If its sin why can’t you tell me?

If its a failing of mine...
I’m only a man!
No, that is not true,
I’m a rat!

A rat survives in places man cannot,
and thrives in the darkness.
A rat cowers before the stronger,
but rips apart the weaker.

So, I’m a rat and no man,
for I can survive anything.
I’m a roach that crawls about in the dark,
hiding from the foot that would crush me.

I will become much worse,
for survival is my priority;
No nobility for me;
I  take virtue and cast it aside.

I was a slave to others,
no dignity, no pride.
‘till the day I saw their weakness,
and fought for my freedom.

I could be a slave again,
though I would be treacherous in that respect,
for though I will bend,
I hate the pressure.

A man tried to make me his bitch,
but he did not know me.
I went along to a point,
then I betrayed and left him,
just as God left me.

I left him to suffer,
I left him to feel the pain,
and have no rest;
I left him to die,
at the hands of others.

And so I smiled through my tears;
for I had survived another day,
without you,
I had made it!

I have been described as a lion,
trapped in the body of a lamb.
They were wrong;
I’m a lamb in the body of a rat.

I may not be at the top of the food chain,
but that doesn’t mean I won’t eat you,
I’ll use and abuse and then leave;
its a pattern that’s seen me through,
many days and nights.

That’s me without you,
because you left me,
I’ve had to scavenge all my life,
and now the light is on,
and I am distressed.

For I’m a rat,
and I fear the light,
afraid of what it will reveal,
I cannot hide in the sun.

So I cling to the darkness,
even though it hurts my soul,
for its the place I know;
Its how I survive.

I confess I am not strong,
compared to you I am nothing;
But that doesn’t mean I have to die,
it just makes a little harder to survive.

I rise to the challenge,
and because I am cloaked in darkness,
I survive and survive on and on
I survive;
I don’t live.
I survive.
Forever,
I survive.

That is what we rats do.