All Comments on 'The Lost'

by The_Misplaced_Gypsy

Sort by:
  • 8 Comments
MSTarotMSTarotalmost 11 years ago
Weird?

Well she married me.

The_Misplaced_GypsyThe_Misplaced_Gypsyover 11 years agoAuthor
I know I do

but its because of how my brain works. I am constantly thinking of something off the wall, something morbid or something controversial. What can I say... I am weird.

tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
#2 THE CROSS ON A CHEST

is called a Rood, and you pick deep and controversial subjects to write about, TK U MLJ LV NV

tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
UPON BEING FOUND

look to change your lifes work, TK U MLJ LV NV

HarryHillHarryHillover 11 years ago
Enjoyed it... but probably because

one broken heart speaks volumes to the other

The_Misplaced_GypsyThe_Misplaced_Gypsyover 11 years agoAuthor

Thank you both. Have you read the other one I wrote. Its called Time of Old.

DesejoDesejoover 11 years ago

I like this, it has a nice rhythm and it's open enough conceptually to remain interesting. I think it could be stronger by taking out some of the words (e.g. the two "Withs" at the beginning of lines 2 and 4 do not really add anything) although that would also mean adjusting the rhythm. I think you are missing a final S on turns in the third stanza? And the fourth stanza rhyme sounds off to me. But overall - a 5.

twelveoonetwelveooneover 11 years ago
well

tis the season, if you wish you will get a real comment,

otherwise fa-la-la la-la-la, ooops wrong season, left a gift of 5 (i hope)

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous