The Confession

Dear Louis,
While we were roommates I acted completely homophobic
But that was all a ruse and now I want you to know this
Before I met you I was straight, I swear
But one night I accidentally saw the bulge in your underwear
It wasn't fair
Caught me completely unaware
Almost screamed but didn’t dare
Began to drool but didn’t care
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t stare
You took my breath away
I got on my knees and began to pray
That I would have the honor of seeing your penis someday
Up late, I would stay
Anything, I would pay
Money, love, or my anus
Bet it’d feel painless (Actually, considering his dick that’s a dangerous statement.)
I would see my soul for your pole and I feel shameless
Honestly without it life seems aimless
You see my dick is the absolute lamest
A total waste of space
Your dick should be famous
My dick’s a disgrace
Barely three inches hard
Yours looked about eight
My dick never gave a woman pleasure
Your dick is a national treasure
Your dick is so great
I want to measure it's diameter
And take down it's weight
I want to count and label the veins
I want to give it a first and last name
And buy it a cape
And take a picture of my hero
And put it on facebook
And say hey look
I just ate Louis Anthony's ass for days
And one with your cum on my glasses
That’d be great ;)

OK, remember how you walked in on me masturbating one day?
I wasn’t looking at porn, I was thinking about you taking me in every possible way
We made eye contact and then I came
In that moment I became completely gay
And ever since, licking your brain has been on my brain
Quite frankly your penis is driving me insane
But all those things I crave can wait.
All I need is the hunger saked
I'm starving to eat your balls on a plate
Won't you please let me tell you how your ballsack tastes?
Won't you please let me tell you how your asshole tastes?
I’ll suck every hair off your nuts
You can watch a movie, let's call it a date
I can't believe I used to be straight
My dick made women sick
Never satisfied with what I had below my waste
I've only ever fucked this one chick that I hate
She was young and dumb
Ass was a saggy cake
Fat and half black
Tits felt fake
She pissed I was wasn’t hung
And don’t shower or shave
Still had some fun
Filled her with cum
But I learned from my mistake
I love blowjobs but wanna be in the bitch's place
I don’t want no sickly bushy pussy
I want your big frickin’ dick in my ugly face
I’d never fuck her icky tushy
But I’d love to eat your ookie cookie
Little tits make me sick
Big boobs make me lose my lunch
I’d rather be kicked in the ribs
Than carpet munch
Rather lick a filthy jizz sponge
Than lay my tongue
On a girls nasty-ass nipples
That’ll make me hurl triple
I swear to God I will never stick my dick in a vagina again
It’s just that simple
And even though I haven't actually seen your meat
Every few weeks
When you were asleep
I'd creep out of bed
Step closer a few feet
And if you were in the right position I might sneak the slightest peek
Your bulge made me mad cuz it looked so damn manly
I wish I could have unwrapped the candy
But even with the brief peek I received I managed to see
My dick is a shrimp that clearly can't swim with your manatee
My dick is a napkin in the rain, yours a canopy
Your dick is big as a horse to my poor little gourd
Yours is a fire-hose, I'm a scrap of cord.
Your soft dick is longer then mine hard times four
That’s a fact I just can’t ignore
My dick is just a tiny map of a of a part of you dick that hasn’t been explored
Your dick could keep people warm in the worst winter storm
I was born with an its bitty splinter
Yours is bigger than a board
I'll suck your cock whenever your bored
I've never adored anything more
Your dick deserves an award
Women fantasize about it all the time I'm quite sure
If I could afford every load of semen that came out of your penis
I would never even conceive of touching my penis anymore
I would give anything to have you fuck my throat for an hour
I'd pay anything to be your free whore
Cuz to be able to say that your jizz tastes sour
Would be my greatest reward
Being fucked like a worthless bitch on the floor
Is the best thing I can imagine
I like it rough
Give me challenge
Make me do a handstand and fuck my mouth till I lose balance
Then blow your load on my dome while I toss your salad
Tell me I'm not a man while you slap me with your manhood or you backhand
I'll be your Robin
Because you saved me
Batman.

Sincerely,
1” Soft

P.S.
I had a little idea for a porno based on the poetry I found in your diary.
You wrote "Juiced a ham with their feet"
Instead how bout I juice your cock with my feet?
And my hands?
And my mouth?
Next you said "Stuck a crayon up their ass and drew an onion"
Why don't you stick a paintbrush up my ass and I'll paint a picture of anything you want.
Then stick a pencil in there and I'll write you a song.
And sing it with your balls in my mouth.
You stated “Threw up garbage into a tub of playdough"
Here's what I'm saying: Instead of the tub of playdough, a bath tub.
I’m the garbage. Your urine is too. Let me gaggle it for a while, before it reads:
"Throwing up piss into a bathtub", but I promise I'll try to to swallow it all.
See, I've got this theory about piss.
To me it's champagne.
I don't like champagne, it makes me want to throw up.
I do, however, wind up having to drink champagne every now and then.
On a special occasion.
A celebration.
Now, if i'm trying to impress someone,
I can drink down a lot of champagne without throwing up.
It's the same with piss.
I tried tasting some of my own, and I didn't like the taste very much but I drank it.
I don't like the taste of champagne very much, but I like drinking it.
Just thinking about it feels elegant.
I feel the same about your piss.
In fact, i'd rather had a glass of your urine than a glass of champagne, and I wouldn't even have to splurge on an expensive bottle.
When someone offers you an expensive glass of champagne,
You DON'T turn that down, now matter whether you like it or not. You thank them.
I'd rather have a glass of your piss than a bottle of the finest champagne.
I always want your dick in my face. I want you to slap me in the face with it. Hard.
I want people to watch you slap me in the face with your dick till I bleed.
Then suck your testicles vigorously while they laugh at my teeny weeny.
I already want to eat your cock for dinner and swallow your cum for dessert,
So why not wash it down with some hot tea or hot coffee or hot piss?
It would be an honor to be your urinal. And of course I'd thank you after.
Think about it.
We could make the best porno, and you wouldn't even have to see my pitiful cock.
I’d wear a dress, I'd be the bitch, I'd suck your dick, I'd drink your piss,
And swallow your cum without you even having to kiss me.
You could even fuck me in the ass. I've never stuck so much as a finger up there,
And even when I felt the first flicker of homosexuality I swore,
I'd never let anyone get anything up my ass,
But I'd let you stick a paintbrush up my ass if I could paint you a picture
And I'd let you stick the tip of your gorgeous dick if it made you hard.
And I’d bow down and let you plow me out if it made you cum.
I’d let you destroyed my asshole and lick your dick clean when your done.
Yum.
If I told you when you caught me jacking off was accident then I lied.
I just wanted you to see the difference in size.
When you saw it land lost it, cracking up laughing, I caught a glance of your pride.

Your dick is so much bigger than mine I cried.