All Comments on 'Until we meet'

Nice poem and I understand where you're coming from. But I bet it could be even better if you personalized it a bit more.

For example:

Until we meet

My nights will be a little colder

My days a little shorter

How about:

Until we meet

my saffron quilt will thin

during night that falls in light.

There are endless possibilities:

The cream will fade from my coffee,

vanish through spring trap bottom

until we meet.

My sweet jams taste ghostly,

morsels lingering lost on buds

until we meet.

Okay, the jam/ghost line is odd. lol

But you get the idea. :)

I may have to use a few of those lines I just came up with!

Loll yeah WickedEve I really do get your drift and I thank you for the help you're trying to give me. I might not be the best poet on Earth but I'm trying to improve and it's with caring help like yours that I'll be able to do so.

LadyC.

ps: The jam/ghost was YOUR idea so please use it as you will :)))

Very nice. Tender and expresses longing very well.

I suppose some of your word choices border on cliche, but the emotion appears intact, and that's all that matters in a poem such as this!

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