All Comments on 'Untitled (coming to terms)'

Ok, here is where you start thinking, about chopping and what you don't want to do. See my other comment (I think, I left one) about something to relate too.

malformed panic of

purposefully paranoic,

altogether turgid,

insufferably splendid,

saccharine-addicted,

Even though the title suggests, just one of this type of thing is tough to make work, let alone it being a significant portion of the poem.

100 anyway

more machine-gun like than song, which is fine if that's your intention as I think it is. I often play with writing this way and the hard part is to make it about more than the sound. I think you've done that admirably well (considering how hard I feel this is to do), but like 1201 says stuff needs to come out. I'd lose what isn't giving both sound and meaning and try to connect up the theme more. But overall really good, an easy five.

I felt like I needed some caffeine to calm me down. And personally, I like the way it shot out like rapid fire.

Very good! Reminded me quite a bit of several songs by Dylan.