what might have been

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a pain, so deep inside
it reaches my soul.

calling out to me-
like thunder calls
to the storm of emotion
raging inside of me.

The grief still fresh
allowing the pain to
blossom once a year
like flowers
we place on
a funeral pyre.

I cannot explain to you the pain
for something that I wanted
more than my
own life...

when you wanted it not to be true.

I know deep inside,
it might have led to a smaller you,
someone to hold,
to care for
to share my love with.

even if it would have
destroyed things even
more than it almost did,
and yet I still grieve-
I still grieve.

the emotional pain makes
the body hurt worse.

pain, is still pain...

regardless of where it comes from
or how it shows up in our life.

pain is still pain...
is still heartache,
and my eyes still bleed tears
for what may never be
for me and you...
for us...
as a family.

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