All Comments on 'Window Smoke'

and I cannot say why, but when I read this, I thought of Michelle by the Beatles. I have a tiny nitpick about the penultimate line in strophe 4...

~~when your hear of our last day~~~

should "your" be "you" perhaps?

regardless...I truly enjoyed this soft sweet poem and I know I will return to it many times :)

~ maria

I forgot to mention, I LOVED these parts especially-

~~I sit to bloom before you.

Words are too wet to burn

and sparks must catch to turn

and

~~~Tomorrow will be as a stream,

and a year from now a sea

started by this tear.

keep up the good work-

~ maria

5, with the hopes that some new writers see this, that while the journey to the ocean may be old, the scenery is different.

Love this 'Tomorrow will be as a stream,

and a year from now a sea

started by this tear.'

Not sure what the 'waste of the Potomac' is but that could be my ignorance.... all in all a very nice read

I apologize. I somehow screwed up the notes I had planned for this piece. Instead, I hope this will do.

This piece is a tribute to the work by To Huu, entitled "Emily, My Child." Both address Norman Morrison and the day he chose to light himself on fire at the foot of the Pentagon, in protest of the Vietnam War.

......enjoyed this even before your explanation but it certainly adds to the weight of this poem. Lovely and sad.

Tess

A magnificent poem! At first read I thought it was somehow related to the Faulkner story "A Rose for Emily" but your added notes cleared that up. I especially liked the third stanza. It is rather amazing how some protests are started by people setting themselves on fire. The series of revolutions in the Mideast were started by a vendor in an obscure town in Tunisia who set himself on fire in protest of government corruption. Look at the effect!

a title for a comment?- disregard

This is a good poem. I have no suggestions. Keep writing, this is very readable

This is excellent and extremely original. I am giving it a recommend. My only query is the first stanza; it seems a little awkward to me, maybe a bit wordier than it could be but that might just be me. Five.

Without the backstory, it is a little vague, Poet Guy thinks. Nice title, though given the subject of the poem, a bit confusing.

Once one knows the true subject of the poem, much of the language falls into place. Poet Guy does not know, however, that he feels a lot of sympathy for the subject; certainly not the same degree of sympathy he might have felt at the time or, more likely, some five years after (Poet Guy was 12 in 1965).

Being now older, Poet Guy might question the subject's choice to immolate himself, and particularly his decision to bring his daughter along for the experience.

None of this has anything to do with your poem, of course, but it does affect Poet Guy's reaction to same, unfortunately.

Poet Guy's conclusion? A difficult subject, handled well. Carry on.