All Comments on '500 Annies Ch. 04'

This author clearly decided to take the phrase " too good to be true " to new limits. The narrator courts & marries a new woman. Lovely ! I am a romantic but without ONE real argument ? No the minute tiff about him bribing the kids doesn't count.

The author finds a publisher who puts him up in five star hotels & comps book tours in Europe ?

Seriously just kill off a fictional rich uncle who he didn't know. That would be more credible. Look the first three installments had good and bad points ( significently more good then bad to be honest) but this one lost the thread by not keeping keeping it at least quasi- real.

OH ! Maria's breasts only sagged only slightly after FOUR kids ?? Mami must have a excellent plastic surgeon. Was her brood all lactose intolerant? If only the author had nipped & tucked at this story devolved to fable as well as that fictional plastic surgeon.

It's the author's prerogative not to write a carthartic face-off scene with cheating ex. That's ok, though . Now I dont feel a scintilla of regret giving this story two stars . I'll give the benefit of the doubt for happy endings but this went fto a estatic bliss beyond any reasonable bounds concluding note.

A little bit of a storybook life for our hero but still an excellent read. I was really hoping for some type of real revenge on the original Annie but I guess that will have to wait.

Have a nice day.

HA

You are correct, that 'Ask your fa...' was a powerful bit. I exclaimed out loud when I read it.

75% of this story was storybook romance. It was miscatagorized, IMO. Not a bad little ditty.

As far as the lack of realism regarding the publisher, I wonder how much 'pull' J.K. Rowling had after 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'. It was analogous. Scholastic was a rather small publisher until they bought the rights to that gem. How far would they bend over for someone like that?

Fantastic? A bit. Not totally implausible.

and like snowflakes they all were/are different, BUT INDIVIDUAL. tk u mlj lv nv

Joe might not need that final confrontation with Annie, but the readers do. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.

I kind of wish that Annie had come looking for him in Spain, but do not bother with an epilogue... What you could do, is to write about Annie's new life and her reaction to what has happened with Joe in a separate story without them ever meeting again.

This was well done and quite romantic. The part where all the sex was described was odd since it was a public interview. Then you tell us that he didn't really talk about that which he seemed to talk about, since it was about sex, yet it was all given as part of the interview. You tried to work in something (his sex life) that just did not fit, so you tossed in the part where he never said any of the stuff that he would never say in public, although it sure seemed like part of the interview. This was what I consider a straight line story. His wife leaves him, so he gets over being sad, makes a lot of money and buys a new family. What would have happeded to the poor schmuck if he never became rich?

LOVED IT. could not wait for each chapter. definately would like to have more. would like to know what happened to Annie. the wife and I have been married for over 40 years. Many of our problems would have stayed minor if we had followed the lines from the song. If we had told each other what was wrong, me moreso than her, we could have fixed it sooner. the mole hills would not have become mountains. again, LOVED IT. please write more.

Another 5 Stars for you,& it is well deserved. You can count me in as one of the people who would like to either see that epilogue or something from Annie's POV. Regardless,please keep writing!

Your story started out with a "5" and then ended with a "2". It was only the very well written first chapter that made it possible to wade through the other 3. Good concept but poor delivery in the end. Oh well. Nice try though. Thanks for the effort.

5*. Sure the ending for our hero is a little too perfect but it is a fantasy. You already had him to a european tour without running into Annie so I vote that they do not have a face to face meeting but I'd love to see her version of events.

How did the exciting trip with Ramon work out? Is she happy with her soulmate? Did Ramon run off with her money? I can't believe that Annie would not try to contact her daughter in all this time. Annie has to know about his success. What is she thinking now.

He did know that she was depressed and unhappy. It was his suggestion that she go on trips and study Art. It's not like our hero didn't try to make Annie happy.

Thanks for writing.

Great story idea and well written too. I did think at times it was a little too perfect, but that didn't detract from the enjoyment of reading it. Definitely this story needs an epilogue, a confrontation with Annie, but it doesn't have to be a revenge thing. He has moved on with a wonderful woman and it is almost certain that her life is not going as well. The grass is almost never greener on the other side of the fence and abandoning her daughter and baby has got to be having an affect on her unless she developed some mental issues. That and the fact she is now living in a foreign country has got to be having some bearing on how she feels about life. Most people always long for home no matter how things are going for them. It would be poetic justice if her true love turned out to be a womanizer and is always chasing other women, which seems very likely.

Excellent read. Well done! Bring on the epilogue asap, please.

Five to Two ... Wow! I concur with the sentiment, but not the severity. QHML (is that an Internet protocol, like HTML?) got carried away as the success spread. I suspect Hubby's dick would have grown a couple of cubic inches if QHML had thought of it (or that he could by with it!)

There was some carelessness with the editing in this story. Not enough to ding the rating, but a bit disappointing, nonetheless.

Thanks for writing. tom anon

The Good: qhml1 is a good writer, and this story was nicely written, with vividly-described scenes, and appropriate moments of humor. Further, I'm happy for the guy: he's rich, he's happy, he's in love with a woman who loves him, and he has a new family to enjoy. I often hope for a happy ending in LW stories (although it isn't a prerequisite for me giving on 5 stars), and I especially hoped for one in this series. I thought the conclusion towards the end was correct: every woman is different, but yet communication is tantamount: and communication is a two-way street. Finally, this story had a little eroticism, which was nice.

The Bad: Except for the first chapter, there was very little drama or tension, which are elements I look for in a LW story. The new love just developed too easily-no stumbling blocks which could have added so much more to the story. Additionally, the story begged for the hero to internalize some of the lessons he learned during the writing of the book, and to use those lessons in his courtship of his new gal. Yet, asside from him being a 'cave man' during the oral sex scene, there was very little of that theme developed. Finally, I had a bit of a problem with the narrator stating that he had no idea that his ex-wife was unhappy. That contradicts his account in Chapter 01, and therefore is a false conclusion; a bit of a cop-out, imho. Kind of like the reoccurring statement by hubbies in so many reconciliation LW stories that "we were both at fault." I wanted some treatment of the ex-wife. I get that this story is about the hero moving on, but the ex-wife making a reappearance, or at least being dealt with in some manner, would have added both completeness as well as tension to the story (which was sorely lacking).

The Ugly: I couldn't help but think during the romance with the new love that the key component to the 'Annie' operating manual is gobs and gobs of money. The relationship starts off with the guy wowing her with money for her lunch, and then he overwhelms her and her children with lavish gifts and expensive good times. More development of the relationship-showing him applying some of his methods he learned writing the book-might have helped avoid this impression.

Excellent Consequence story. It does not matter this story is not a Romantic Revenge story at all. I like the good consequence stories and he found the lost happiness and this is the BEST CONSEQUENCE FOR HIM. I like the restart stories with Second Chance woman and this was a . Naturaly a good Romantic Revenge as Vulcez excellent story shows us in "Choices Made" could rise us revenge story fans for higher cheerful, but I could imagine me in the main character's skin...........This is the most important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry again these sentences.....................I like the restart stories with Second Chance woman and this was such a good one. Naturaly a good Romantic Revenge, as Vulcez excellent story shows us in "Choices Made" could rise us revenge story fans for higher cheerful level, but I could imagine me in the main character's skin...........This is the most important!

Got a bit too dry near the end. I had to force attention. But it was a great story. Looking forward to 500 joes.

It seems that if she is the subject of an international bestseller as the runaway wife with her picture on the cover, she would be exposed if she did not come forward. In these days of the internet and scandal media there would be no where to hide.

Lets hear her story. What's she been up to? Is she happy now? Does she care about anything but herself?

WHAT BOTHERED ME WAS ALL THE EXPENSIVE GIFTS HE BOUGHT FOR HIS NEW LOVE AND HER CHILDREN. WHY START A RELATIONSHIP THROWING ALL THAT MONEY AT THEM AND SPOILING THEM. DONT YOU WANT THEM TO LOVE YOU FOR YOU AND NOT WHAT YOU GIVE THEM. NO WAY TO GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP .... FOR A GUY RESHEARCHING WOMEN HE GOT IT ALL WRONG, EVEN WITH THE GOOD OUTCOME FROM THIS AUTHOR..

I liked the chapters being divided up into NPR broadcasts. Nice touch doing that. I'm certainly looking forward to the "final confrontation" with Annie1. I was hoping it would happen during his European tour.

write it quickly, give us all the background (and lowdown) on first Annie, and a lead-in to "Average Joes"! NOW!!!

For all the harsh critics out there who had problems with the logic behind every step, this is merely fiction and the author can/should tell it the way he wants to. To me it was a great romantic story that shows that there can be a happy and fruitful life after such extreme adversity that the main character had to endure. Loved it.

Thanks for sharing I love it when someone mades lemonade out of lemons and have fun doing it.

The only negative I have is annie,his ex,wouldn't walk out on the daughter like that if she was tired of hubby,she would have stayed in contact,no mom would do that.A follow on would be wonderful,especially the enignatic annie..did she find her pot of gold or did she find it to be just another illusion...and is she stayibg away from joe because she is happy or because she is embarrased?I can sort of understand why the author may not want to do a follow in bc with annie the stb types want blood and the others want her made a hero or something.....inadvertently she did change joe by leaving him.I suspect annie found dirt not gold because ramon was a cheater too...

It desperately needs "a final confrontation with Annie."

A short note to say thank-you. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the 4 chapters. Will there be an Annie's Story?

I only ask because she disappeared without a trace with nobody knowing where she went or with who, she's been in touch with no one and nobody has been in touch with her. So why wasn't the police on his ass asking tough questions.

The ending was kind of a let down because we as readers would have liked to see him be able to confront Annie but I guess she's far too happy in Spain to be bothered to contact her daughter or exhusband.

As you said yourself, this story could use an epilogue. Especially regarding his future and what happened to his ex-wife... I hope she regrets like hell all that she threw away: her marriage, her daughter, her granddaughter, happines too perhaps?

I just about vomiited when i read this

...."But I can tell you this, communication is paramount...

...."Maybe if I had listened a little closer Annie wouldn't have left. Maybe if she talked to me a little more things would have been different....

does anyone with a god damn fucking brain REALLY thnk she cheated on this clueless fuckwad for 2 years and stile half of the $$ becuase he didnt talk to her enough?

Q,

I never read serial stories until they're complete; I'm not much into suspense. So, your epilogue having now been submitted, I just got done downloading yours (500 Annies) . I don't think I've read any of your stuff before, but having seen some of the comments you've been getting from both sides of the "macho" fence, my interest has been aroused.

Looking forward to finding out who, among your critics, got it right--well at least from my perspective.

Be well,

Matt

I am inspired and will remember Joe's turning life events that were an apparent tragedy into a blessing. Thanks so much for this.

Just finished the whole series, including "I Never Stopped Loving You". Highly emotionally impacting. Well written. Annie is such a tragic figure, a waif lost in the circumstances. Actually, if you were to expand it, this would make a good PUBLISHED novel.

Complete. Significant. Work on what you want, not on the trendy. You're still playing at it; be it. Too much there to go to waste. I envy you.

One little flaw -- the IRS would take a chunk of the $250,000 Joe gave to daughter AJ and her spouse as deposit on a home -- anything received in one year over $10,000 per person becomes income subject to tax. And a goodly portion of the $15 million or so from the book would also go into Federal and State coffers so our hero might've kept half, if that. I know there are creative accountants out there, tax lawyers, trusts, etc. but income is income -- just look at Las Vegas (the IRS is right there, at the casino!) or the state lottery, or the race track. The Tax Man won't be denied! Fun story otherwise, 4 stars overall.

the biggest is the stereo-typical of each which changes thru the decades and political mores of us all, TK U MLJ LV NV

And very right in it's essence -

People are not that predictable BUT we do share some essential and should learn them -

Communicate is vital - always - if you communicate and still fail so be it - you did your best . If you do and fail - tough shit on you.

The petfect ending would be that Ramone turned out to be abusive and beat Annie to death with in the first year of their departure. That bitch deserved a life of sorrow and pain. The ultimate insult would be that NO ONE gave a shit.

to the previous Anon comment ,

DUDE .. get some therapy ...

xxxhugsxxx

“We don't know if we're going anywhere, it wouldn't be fair to get them used to you and then you up and disappear.” – I think they’re already getting pretty used to him without him doing anything special.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

I really love this story. Sorry I could not give more than 5* pr. chapter

I'm very happy I found this story!

J

over and over. Touching story

WMM

For a fellow who started out in such an average way, working hard for each step up the ladder, he sure went over the top at the end.

It would have been nice to know what happened to some of the Annies, especially Wendy. Did she and her husband get the jobs? Their own apartment? ??? In fact I care more about her than Annie #1.

AJ's daughter on the other hand is a different matter. I am reminded of the Johnny Cash song, A Boy named Sue, "we found ourselves the proud grandparents of a boy." A boy who was for the rest of the series known as a little girl called Bunny.

Please Google "foundation garments".

I think you are trying to use a euphemism for underwear or lingerie, but teenagers almost definitely, and probably Maria from her description, wouldn't need "foundation garments"!

I think the newspaper would arrange for an actual print of the photo so that she wouldn't need to frame the newspaper print.

"the classic line 'if you don't know what's wrong, I'm not going to tell you' is possible the most fatal mistake a woman can make." - Another one is, the man asks, "What's wrong?" and the woman says, "Nothing!"

An emotional story with clearly written aims & goals. Lots of side trips to hold a readers interest. You stayed on track to achieve your goal and I doubt that you lost many readers in between. Lots of emotions and lots to consider. Well done. Thanks for sharing. BK.

Didn't like it much. The second part is a bit like father christmas. Buying in with big big gifts. Too simple.

A little too Horatio Algeressish in the last parts! A movie about the book---it would have to be more of a documentary and the money he claimed to have made wouldn't be anywhere near reality.

Couldn’t have been cornier, or more formulaic. Big tits, baseball, shopping, fame and fortune. And, the usual misspelling of “breathe”. So very American. It'll sell!

I sure want to say thank you again on another great story. As for all of those anonymous hacks that want to criticize everything that said and done, where are yours? I'd be willing to bet just poor fellow has other things to do besides sit there and use this time to try to entertain everyone else. Yet he still does. How about a little appreciation for the fact that he is doing it? I don't know maybe it's a lot easier to criticize someone and to appreciate what they are doing. Or maybe the responses say more about the readers? The it personally, if I don't enjoy reading something or criticize it, I just find something else to do.

Another great story by a great storyteller.

Yes, my comments are from "anonymous", but that's just because I just haven't actually logged on. But regardless of what my login name is I want to acknowledge a Great, (Fantastic), story.

And as I have a very critical eye, (do to my job), I did find a few errors. Things like an improper change in tense, double words, no space between word, and a few misspellings. BUT none of the things I saw / found had any negative effect on the story.

I gave the entire story straight 5's, but only because I couldn't give it 6'some or 7's or higher. Keep up the great writing.

This one was a great read!!!!!

Great story. Had tears reading the last chapter.

I've read this several times and marvel at the story line -- so original -- each time. I read here for entertainment and this series is as entertaining as it can get! It is too bad the author is not contributing here any more. <sad>

I didn't think that I would continue this after chapter two, and I'm so glad I did. This is so different from most of what you find in LW, and it is so damn good. Qhml1 is something.

So good best author on the site

This is the second story I've read by this author and I have thoroughly enjoyed both of them. I readily admit I am a romantic old softy so he is right up my alley. The thing that surprised me is that I really like stories where the cheating, unfaithful wife and her lover really get their comeuppance in a harsh and complete revenge. This author does not do that but he is still captivating and ends his books well.

I wish I could rate this a 10

Very well thought out.

Good

Absolutely Awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet!

ltpw

Bravo, just bravo

Being an Austrian I like the author a lot, klicken through some of his stories, but this is his masterpiece!

Thanks for the insights

This story is pure contrived fantasy Bravo! qhml1 a true Masterpiece! It was not what I expected nor was it disappointing in any way. Great Job, thank You 5***** My life started much like this 'average Joe' and although I never reached the level of fame or fotune "Joe" did, I certainly have up to the current day had a life well lived. I can recommend it and I hope you get the fame and fortune of this average "Joe"

This category (L.W.) needs many more stories like this.

Another great storyline. I only wish someone somewhere would write the book to put a lot of us out of our confusion

to it's completion. I do not think I will read the Epilogue, I am quite satisfied with where it ended.

A song by B.W. Stevenson seems to me to sum up what I would feel if I were lucky enough to be Joe. Signed: BTW

Everyone should read this

Great series!

If I had read this before.............but like Joe unforeseen consequences. I of amy first marriage hadn't failed where would I be today? After 40 years and loving wife who passed on, what do I have? The love of 4 grown children, their children and their children's children! Amazing huh? My wife, Bonnie gave me everything I was missing before I met her. This story is great and could be everyone's with a little understand, compassion and thoughtfulness and of course the love of a good woman. Keep writing.

The story was nothing short of inspiring but I knew that before I began. A few authors inspire trust in their readers, Q is certainly one. I know I will love the story, just don't know the path that he will take to get me there. What DID catch me off guard was chia pet - oops, Cheeachaser when he said he was going to stop before the epilogue - that to him it was done. I respect his choice, after all he is reading Q so he has good taste. I hope curiosity will get the better of him. Thank you!

somewhere east of Omaha

A very good story.Would have liked to know what happened to the original Annie.

Excellent!

I forgot how great this series was. I shows the possibility that a distraught discarded husband can get his life together and be stronger than ever for it.

Absolutely fine job

I wish him the best of luck, but I hope there is a sequel where he gets to be face to face with the bitch ex-wife. It sticks in my throat that she gets off scott free in this. Not only abandoning Joe but her DAUGHTER also. Damn the no good low life slut that she is. Please a "sequel" based on what happened to her.

Excellent, thanks from Australia

wow!! thanks for the GREAT READ.

enjoyed it immensely!

Great tale, wonderful story. Simply cannot beat "Happily Ever After". LP

great read, thanks for the misty eyes, smiles, frowns and in between emotions

Nearly a year since my last read, I gifted myself this tale once again. Thank you Q.

somewhere east of Omaha

Loved the whole story. Excellent.

Probably the finest story on this site. Fresh every time I read it. Thanks again!

Great story, and a second one I read from you where the man very quickly becomes dad to her children. Beautiful, just wished it was so easy.

One thing bugging me though. He tells things I seriously doubt anyone would tell in a public interview because they are so private - and some that would definitely be cut away before going on air.

wonderful story wasn't sure I was going to like it but a vverey good read indeed solid five now to go on and read more of your work .

Wow.

Great writing and story. Will be reading more.

Keep up the good work.

Annie.... it's a shame there are so many like her, of any sex. To not talk to her own daughter is beyond the pale. I was waiting for her to show up on the European tour. She needed an adult to straighten her out.

Love the whole story but, when Cassie hugged him and called him Daddy I about had tears in my eyes.

This is in my top 5 favorite storied on Literotica, very well done!

I would really enjoy a follow up with his confrontation with Annie where her lover took all her money and left her broke

Hell of a good story.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

So, class, what have we learned?

That having millions of dollar in your bank account works wonders.

That was superlative - just brilliant, inciteful, and beautifully balanced

Loved every bit - made me smile, laugh and cry and equal measure - thank you for a gorgeous read!

He traveled all over the northern hemisphere to promote his book and didn’t like it. So now he’s going to repeat? Isn’t traveling while married to Annie part of the problems?

qhml1, your writing is higher quality than most here. I'm a natural born nit picker, but when I set that aside, this was a satisfying story with interesting characters, so completely worth the time spent. If you want to emulate Joe in the story, team up with an editor and you just might not have to write for free. Either way, keep writing - it certainly brings a bit of joy to others.

Wow really good. I echo the comments that your writing is way above average here, you don’t need endless stupid sex to write a story. It’s all about relationships people, and Q you’ve nailed it. Well done.

Great story. Communication is the key to a successful relationship.