All Comments on 'A Circumstantial Case'

Very clever story

BLOODY WASTE OF TIME

I have only read two pages, the plot is so weak, it's an insult to the readers intelligence. Secondly the two detectives were clueless, so m a by loop holes in the story they missed. I hope it improves.

My comment is simple. Most L/W stories are rote regurgitation of BTB or recon. All follow like lemmings the same crap. This story has holes; however it is a good attempt to portray some original revenge. I liked it....

Totally bad ending, total bullshit

The plot is weak indeed as the "circumstantial evidence" would not work because police is not that stupid.

More importantly why would anybody throw away his career and life to try to frame the cheaters, that makes absolutely no sense.

The end is totally absurd because now the guy would almost certainly got himself in a serious trouble. There is a trail to him for authorities to go after, in particular because of the nature of crime, conspiracy.

A novel approach. Whilst it does stretch credibility I have seen less realistic and more convoluted plots on the telly! Thank you.

Too much long story...

Original and entertaining, taking the time to build a "substantial" framework for a "circumstantial" situation.

Very well done. More please.

Original tale and if the MC has conned the authroities once successfully, then he certianly can do it again and remain off the radarr

Super good story. 5. Stars all the way. Might have to remind the anonymous nitpickers that this is fiction. And a very good revenge story

My second time to read it and it's still a five.

For some of the skeptics, I don't think it is meant to a documentary.

Speachlessly Awsome story

Great story, well crafted etc,sinners got waht they deserved, their lives ruined etc. Blake is your typical tool, shallow narcissitic unreliable and undependable. Lisa prolly was a decent human being, but she cheated and was proactive in the sexual relationship w/ blake. Unfortunately we will never know why she gave in to his "appeal" or why she then became an active participant vs a victim of a predator. It always seems ridiculous when the cheaters claim that they still love the partner named on the marriage certificate, they didnt mean for them to find out or get hurt(bla bla bla), and cant we all just get over this. Of course it was only sex but it must have been danm good sex for her to get over any guilty feelings and then throw herself into becoming a completely involved partner w/ the "lover". Thank god no mention was made about the ginormous dick the lover had to have (a LWs requirement). It would have been interesting to know/hear her thoughts (rationalizations) about the whole thing (and why she shld be forgiven)but once she gave up her twats exclusivity, she lost the right to any forgiveness. rk

all right...

I kept thinking of an old James Garner/Dick VanDyke movie set in France. They have a conflict over something and VanDyke frames his buddy for murder. Garner's character is sitting in the dock in court sweating while an old lady sits in the front row knitting and cackling "Guillotine!, Guillotine!"

My second read... I still think it's a 5.

No pity for Blake, some sadness for Lisa losing so much of her life, and empathy for Mark.

Glad he relented and did what he had to so he could release himself by releasing them, even if it was only in contemplation of his own death... I choose to think it was also because he did find a new life, with a new love, and was able to move on.

Why was Mark friends with Blake at all, if Blake had previously horned in on Mark’s girlfriend(s) and Mark knew about it? That kind of behavior is not very friendly.

My 2nd reading, the first time, I didn't get to the end, so i decided to bite the bullet and read the full story and I am glad that I did.

Enjoyed a well thought out story with a great revenge and good ending, for which I have given 5*. However starting with what the previous comments said and loads of other holes, I could understand it if lots of other readers have given it a lot less. I still know why I have up after the first two pages, in my first attempt.

So if he didn't have a heart attack he would have let the pair rot in prison?

Hey if you are still out there Jake (if 60 is your age then you are 73 today and could well be pushing up daisy's) thanks for the story forget the holes and all the other moral issues, it was a good read and very nicely written, maybe a practice run for your Great Canadian Novel? I'm not going to score you no sense is there but a solid 4 and a half golden ones are awarded {in absentia}

I've read this before and I enjoyed each time. I think this is how I would act in the same circumstances. Except I wouldn't have not contacted anyone and she would still be in prison

Life's a bitch and then you marry one.

A fantastic story, so well written and thoroughly thought out, if only…..

Great descriptions, loved the character set, but the whole plot was one of the best I’ve read on here.

A really nice read with a very good plot. After being framed and spending 18 months in prison, I find it hard to believe that she hope to reconcile but that does not deter from the fact that is is a good story. 5*

I liked the general plot, but there were a few issues that bothered me.

1. If Mark's lawyer had an issue acting for Lisa, then so did his partner.

2. No experienced criminal lawyer would, despite what you see on tv, arrange a meeting with his clients and the DA present in these circumstances. It is just idiotic. If there is already some framework of a deal there might be some circumstance making it possible, but there was no suggestion of that here.

3. The letter from the girlfriend needlessly gave extra information that could be used to track them down.

4. The earlier high school cheating and Blake's belief in how extreme Mark's behaviour could be if cheated on were inconsistent with Mark remaining Blake's best friend throughout their years.

5. I don't know why Mark would think closure by getting the cheaters released would bring him more peace of mind than knowing the police knew what had happened and were looking for him would cause him stress and worry.

Très belle histoire bien ficelée.

I loved this story. I think the real crux of its value is the actual telling... Most great stories on this site take, what I call poetic licenses with some facts/incidents. The premise of the contrived revenge was very well written. The end was great and both cheaters were taught life's lessons to a T.. Thanks for sharing....

The whole thing was completely predictable after reading the first 10 paragraphs. Very dry.

boring and dumb

Complicated, but I loved it. Thank you for sharing. Five stars certainly well earned.

I liked the story. I feel it is boring IF your only interest is -

to read the Bitch is burnt.

I have a general distrust of DA's and Judges. This is due to experience as an victim or testifying bystander giving testimony. I as a witness observed a person get by without jail time when said person did a hit and run and cause serious body damage to victim. The offense was accomplished by on purpose steering their car into the victim, The DA viewed myself as a very credible witness. The offender had a husband lawyer.

The Ole Plea bargain lets some serious offenders get by with near MURDER.

Now for the story- I find the law enforcement didn't check for powder residue on the block of wood nor the car seat around the entry of the projectile.

Hey I know Its only a story and I sure enjoyed it. grade 5

Pretty long when you know what’s going on the whole time. Conflict without tension.

He never should have confessed.

A captivating tale with a surprisingly new perspective on the theme of revenge on an unfaithful spouse and and a backstabbing "best" friend. Well-written and thoroughly enjoyable. Thank for an intriguing read.

Too long but we'll written

Belle histoire bien écrite.

Page three now. Some issues: the detective dropped the husband's cell phone into his pocket instead of an evidence bag, causing his own prints to mess over any others on the phone. Also, when interviewing the wife in the station's interview room, no Miranda Rights. Back to the story.

JPB

The story was very predictable. We even knew how he had done it, with few instances of surprise. It did drag on a bit, but was otherwise enjoyable. Four stars.

BTW, it's not " a half an hour" or whatever. It's "a half hour, or half an hour", again, or whatever.

JPB

Well written and entertaining.

OK but more holes than a Swiss cheese in this plot.

Well written, but the author ruined the story by Mark confessing to I.P. in the first place, and doing it so early. I can KIND OF MAYBE buy "OK she spent 6 years in jail - same 6 years of his life she stole - and now she deserves freedom". 18 months is a joke, hell even she thinks so. I don't buy her remorse, and I definitely think Mark was a complete idiot for putting heart surgery in the letter which means he'll be tracked within 1 month,

Although there were flaws and holes in some events of the story, it was realistic enough to be dramatic fiction. The telling of the story by the author was excellent. The concept was excellent. 5 stars all the way. Thank you.

Good story, but way too many holes. For example, adding regular water to blood causes the red blood cells to lyse (swell up and explode) and this would have been immediately noticed. Etc, etc, etc.

It was interesting, but as has been pointed out, utterly devoid of possibility. That in itself is ok, most of fiction is not very well thought through in terms of being practical or even possible. The reader knew from the outset that this was a set up, but we read it anyway to find out how it was accomplished. The issue then is that the mechanics, the details that didn’t work, made the story weaker. No, you can’t water down blood to make it look like more without the most basic forensic analysis showing that like a flashing neon light. Not one of the supposed witnesses was found including the crime stoppers guy who desperately wanted the money. The idea of putting a bit of blood on his wife’s gas pedal was fun, but this was done at or before 6 am and she drove home 6-8 hours late when it would have long been dry and not transferred to her shoes. The case was a mountain of interesting circumstantial evidence, and many a conviction has rested on circumstantial evidence, but this evidence was badly flawed. If he really had heart surgery there would be a definitive record of his blood at the hospital and knowing the narrow time line it could have been used to lead authorities right to him, if they bothered to follow up. Little things, but it was still a fun read. (Of course, on the other hand we all know of too many cases where innocent people were railroaded by a legal system that cared less about due process than making convictions)

An exceptional piece of fiction. Got to give it five stars for being such a rewarding and thought out story, even it there are a lot of holes in it as some of the commenters have stated. Nice revenge with both the cheating parties losing what means to most to them, Blake his prized possessions and his attitude of only thinking of himself, while Lisa lost her loving husband and her dignity. Well done!

Well done complex story long and complicated

Good story. Entertaining. Some holes that woukd not pass the forensics smell test (watered down blood?, no hair fiber or other tissues?), but was still complex.andnwell done especially since as a reader we know it was all a frame. Lisa knew at the end what she lost. Of course why she threw it all away for Blake without having any forethought just shows either her stupidity or her self entitlement or both. Blake is a total asshole. May he only experience woe for the rest of his fictional life.

Clever storyline, even though a predictable reveal & ending, I feel it was well written and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Additional comments, based on my own work as an administrator of a statewide medical examiner system that included some basic medicolegal examination training and of course acquired knowledge, that are offered strictly for constructive criticism in the hope it’s of value to your future writing. Death investigators, usually law-enforcement background and little if any medical training, visit death scenes, not actual medical examiners who are usually board-certified friends like pathologist, that’s only seen on TV series. Forensic toxicology testing would reveal the blood had been mixed, and probably coagulated. Forensic testing of the projectiles, may or may not have revealed additional information, but testing of the wood from the pile inside the garage versus the rest spread around the picnic site would’ve shown obvious difference. Blood splatter analysis would have shown a syringe or other narrow gauge device was more likely the source of the blood found that supposedly spurted, and no way to tell if it came from the carotid artery that I’m aware of. The absence of any trace evidence for example hair clothing fiber carpet fiber and DNA from the two alleged perpetrator‘s, would’ve been evidence that contradicted what the prosecutor presented. Having a single defense attorney, representing two individuals each with an entirely different alternative theory, would probably have been malpractice and certainly the basis of appeal; but I can understand the attorney selfishly keeping the cases together as Lisa had a better alternate theory (or an overlooked alternative theory between 1 AM and 5:30 AM so-called best friend had committed the murder while Lisa slept) , but the SOB who is banging her had more financial resources.

I did not get very far into this story before it was obvious the mark Evans was taking his seat and throwing suspicion on his wife and best friend. That majesty rest of the story tedious.

"[Note- 'What a maroon!' is an expression used by Bugs Bunny in old cartoons. Means fool/idiot/moron. Widely used, in my circle anyway, back in the day.]"

Well.... Okaaayyy... BUT in MY circle, maybe a decade or two BEFORE your day, MAROON always was a colour, somewhere between Golden Brown, Nut Brown, and Scarlet! Whereas a jackass was always a MORON with one oh, as in "id10t", groan-groan!

Cannot believe how many previous commentators thought themselves "clever" for spotting the patently obvious conclusion that was DESIGNED into it because, just like the cheating spouse, THAT is the easy bit, it's the "HOW-is-done" and the "HOW-T-F-do-you-prove-it" that is the real challenge! There are NO PRIZES for following the plot!

R.S.

ForestDevil61 pretty much nailed it. Good story, still, but with enough holes that it leaks like a soup sandwich.

I'm always amazed that critics have difficulty interpreting what is FICTION.

If the author states it was purple rain, then so be it.

Ok, the spelling and grammar Queens will always posit their incredible Wordsmithing skills, usually, anonymously but occasionally, if these issues are really obvious, well God help the author!.

Anyway, I enjoyed the story.

Great bit of fictional writing. Five stars.

And I see what Lecheman means about the Spelling and Grammar Queens. I unsure whether some are simply destructive trolls or perhaps can't help themselves as they have an inbuilt need to continually correct others. Lit would be a much more pleasant place without them.

Far fetched but very well done.