All Comments on 'A Date With Master...'

Not a fan. This story jumps around way too much....people with no names suddenly have names out of no where...she barely gets a cock in her mouth before she's switching people...yelling and talking with a cock in her mouth..I couldn't even finish the story because one minute they are leaving from the bathroom and the next they are staying??? I think??..Just doesn't make sense. Perhaps you should do a revision of it so it makes more sense.

I agree with all of the comments made by the first anon. Additionally -

Please explain what was rude about how she spoke to the waiter. That is a massive scene to be made from a bogus, pretend error. The master has no real control over the set up he was created in that public bathroom. He has endangered her by starting that and encouraging it to both continue and expand. His macho posturing would not stop her from being gang raped by that mob which is teetering on the edge of losing control.

The addition of the older couple was bizarre. It comes across as an assault on the wife. All the screaming and physical carrying on is too much for such a public place. I cannot suspend disbelief enough to not think the police have been called by multiple people and that cell phone video has already gone viral.

Your basic idea is good. This needs significant editing to remove parts that make it silly and/or difficult to follow. It needs editing to better follow the actions of the characters and to make the dialogue more believable. It would be nice to have something from the master to better show he cares about her, her needs and her safety. The bitch stuff gets old when overused. Using Pop and Mom as names was creepy.

First or second time poking around here in this section, and I have to wonder if this is par for the course. Oh, I have a few problems that probably aren't applicable. But the main one that is applicable is her overwhelming and erratic reluctance. Its like she's suffering from sub fatigue, from being a sub too much and doesnt want to be, so that she's sloppy and inattentive. And I'll buy the table scene as a plot device, but you're throwing whatshisname under the bus by using it, since it appears as if she hasn't passed basic training. The start of the story was acceptable. Then it became not good.

There need more of this I love it and want to read more of this stories here ...A Date With Master