All Comments on 'A Gift From His Father Ch. 14'

Keep them coming great story series I enjoy it a lot.

Thank you for the orgy and the incest with Heather, it was inevitable, but good delivery in laying it out.

Mooooore!!!!!!

Your style and imagination are improving a great deal. You have created an almost never ending story and we are all looking forward to that!

This was good but i have only one complain WHY the fuck Mary was being a Bitch to Jaquie doing all that mind control thing?

Please continue this story. One of the best EVER!!!!

Fantastic series! Please continue forever!

The plot with the shape-shifter is gathering momentum. That looks interesting.

But please have your next instalments proof-read. If the story is as good as it has been, they deserve it.

Great story line and I wish you would continue the story.

I know it is difficult to continue to find the time to write, so thanks if you do not continue the story.

Chapter 15 has been submitted (Monday) waiting for the Literotica editing robots to complete their work. It's been fun writing this story.

been a decided improvement in your writing skills. With that said, there is still room for improvement in your grammatical structure and English syntax.

A specific suggestion I could make about this chapter has to do with the storyline as the orgy progressed. When you switch between characters, try to put the character's before any pronouns. There were a few instances where I thought you were talking about the previous character, only to find out you had switched characters.

The most confusing example was when you switched from Candace to April towards the end of the chapter. Some of April's thoughts about John could just have easily been her mother's, which made it even more confusing.

Keep at it, I'm anxious to get caught up in time with your writing to see your progress.

Love where you are taking this. Would have been nice to throw some anal scenes into the orgy and better warning when the dialog changes people. I confused Candice and April in the story.

I still wish i was april

It might interest the writer to know his/her story is being referenced from the NON-EROTIC section. Absolutely no similarity whatsoever. I would have posted this as a member, but that's screwed up too. I guess if your new, been here 3 months, then you're not allowed to do that either. What I've heard about this site seems to be true.

A disappointing chapter, all sex (it just seems to copy previous chapters) and no story.

And just what is the shapeshifters secret(s)? -- Millions of dollars, power, a new mansion, over a dozen Agents feeding him power from sexual energy, ... friends, family, and acquaintances, ... 100 of your closest, plus a shapeshifting party crasher, ... this chapter had a huge ass orgy and bimbos too! But the typos were even worse than normal, ... ;-) TTFN