A Girl With A Secret

But for now we walked to the bar calmly, not as a couple maybe but as friends, awkward friends.

Suddenly I saw Steve coming up the walkway.

"Yo, wassup?" he cried out. "Paul? Jessica?" Then without warning he charged right for me from about 30 yards away, and then lunged at my side and landed in a sort of piggy back position on my back, yelling, "Tonight's the night, boy! Yeah boy!!!" and then he leapt off and kept running past us down the walkway. And when he was far away he shouted out wildly, "Go for gold!" Then he was gone behind some trees.

We both laughed and kept walking. It was like nothing had ever happened. Obviously he expected both of us to get lucky tonight. Boy, little did he know! (No pun intended!!!)

Finally we got to the bar and went inside. We sat at a two person booth close to the counter once we had gotten our drinks.

We talked for a little while. Gradually I noticed that the four people in the larger table close by were talking about the high school I had gone to. So we sat down at that table and started talking with them.

We talked about a hell of a lot of things. Then one girl started talking about this independent film she'd seen in one of her classes called "Red Destiny," about a transsexual woman trying to become a man, and eventually killing herself at the end from depression. She kept talking about how strange and interesting it was.

"You know," said the guy to my right, "I don't think I'd really mind some chick becoming a dude. A dude becoming a chick though? I'd have a harder time with that."

I glanced at Jessica.

"I know!" said the girl. "I can't really imagine that... just thinking of some guy hanging out in my locker room..." she shuddered.

We could have left, but instead I said, "Personally, I don't care what anyone wants to do. I think it's their choice." I admit, it sounded kind of lame, except for the fact that I was trying to protect Jessica.

"Dude," said the guy next to me. "Do you really want to be sleeping with some chick and find out it's a dude?" He waved his hands dramatically and looked around the table. "Okay. I heard this amazing story. One of my friends, he's in the army, but he's been all over the place, and he's been with a lot of women..." the girl giggled. "He's seen a lot of shit, okay? Okay, so a friend of his was in Mexico, right?"

"What was he doing in Mexico?" another guy asked.

"Shut the fuck up, it's my story. He was getting blowjobs... because he was taking a break, like they do in the military. And he drove down to Mexico. For blowjobs.

"So anyway. He went to this one bar, picked up this hot chick. She was really hot, okay? So he went into some room..." he glanced around the bar to make sure he wasn't being too loud. Not that it really mattered. "And so they were having sex, right? And this guy said he was having the time of his life! He said it was the best woman he'd ever had ass sex with."

"Oh, that's gross!" said the girl.

"He said her body was incredibly beautiful, although he had found it strange that they needed to use lube before fucking."

"For anal sex?" my twisted brain asked, for some reason.

"No, for clitty sex!" (The girl protested again.) "Isn't that the damnedest thing? Also she had big fake tits too. Not that that matters. Or maybe it does.

"So anyway my friend told me, I don't know if this is true or not but I think it mostly really happened, this guy was having a great time having sex, all right? But then he noticed that her hands were really big! I mean really big! So you know, maybe she was softly caressing his nuts or something, and he said kiddingly, 'My, what big hands you have!'

"And she must have known the fairy tale because she said, 'The better to squeeze you with, señor!"

"They did not really say that!" said the girl.

"Well maybe he made that shit up, maybe he didn't. I don't know. But, if not word for word, this stuff actually happened, alright? So stop ruining my story.

"So then they kept having sex, and he started fucking her ass again" (another protest from the girl) "and he said, 'My, what a loose ass you have!'" The guy laughed. "Not really that polite, but she did mostly speak Spanish, right? And she said, 'The better for you to fuck me, señor!'" We were all listening very intently now, waiting for the punch line.

"Then, he noticed that even though the girl had a pussy, and a clit, and boobs, she also had a big adam's apple. She didn't have a deep voice even, but she had a big apple, all right? He was feeling her throat and maybe because he was a prick he said, 'My, what a big adam's apple you have!'"

"And she said, her voice suddenly became really deep like only a man could make, 'How do you like them apples?' Just like that! The girl was a fucking dude!" Everyone started laughing, even Jessica, who laughed nervously. I mean, it was pretty funny.

"The best part is, this guy told this story to my friend, and my friend was amazed that a man could have all that shit, like, you know, fake boobs, fake clit, that shit. And as my friend was telling him this story, he realized that he had probably slept with some men too, without realizing it!"

"How could he know though?" asked the girl. "I mean, you can get surgery for an adam's apple, I think!"

"Well, big hands, tall, and requiring pussy lube are all good signs," said the guy calmly. "Plus, they're always out there, so it's only a matter of time before you get unlucky!"

"That's ridiculous!" said the girl.

"Well, if it was the best ass sex he ever had, you can't argue with that, can you?" I volunteered. I was trying to put a positive spin on this whole thing, you see.

"But man, can you imagine finding that out?" said the guy. "That's fucking unreal. That sucked for this guy so much! I mean, do you have any idea how much this messed him up?" he laughed. "This guy was really fucked up, let me tell you, after fucking a fucking dude!"

Everyone laughed, except for me and Jessica. Suddenly her hand moved into mine. I could tell it was subconscious, and it was like she was trying to find comfort.

I thought it was about time to go, and just before I was ready to get up, I said, "Hell, it sounds like he got a pretty good deal! I'd fuck that!"

They laughed. I was about to stand up. Then the guy said to Jessica, "I can't believe you're hanging out with this guy! He's going to fuck a dude behind your back!" he laughed. He was kidding, of course. I just wish that I could have thought of something funny to say back to him, so it wouldn't be awkward for me, but I didn't. Not that it was that awkward quite yet.

I laughed at it anyway. "Well," I said to Jessica, "I've got to be heading back."

"Yeah," she said. We stood up. Then I had to pee.

"Hold on a sec," I said. "I gotta go to the bathroom."

So I went to the bathroom, and I was at the urinal doing my duty. The storyteller came in to use the only free urinal, which was right next to me.

"That girl's pretty hot, the one that you're with," he said. Apparently he didn't know the sacred albeit unwritten urinal code of not talking.

"Yeah," I said absently.

"Hey, can I ask you a personal question, man to man?" he asked. "Is it hard for you guys to fuck?"

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"Aw, I just noticed that me and my girlfriend, like, after you've been with someone for awhile, you just kind of lose it, you know? I kind of think that's happened to just about everyone I know, and it just sucks, you know?"

"Mmm-hmm," I said, as I made my way over to the sink.

"So you guys do it a lot?"

I sighed. There are some annoying people that you can't hide the truth from, unless you don't mind telling them off. Unfortunately I really had nothing against him. "No. We're just friends at this point."

"Damn!" he said. "Well. I guess you guys just seemed like the kind of couple who've been close to each other for awhile. That's funny." We were walking out of the bathroom now. At least he had the sense to move as he interrogated me. Did he think this stuff because Jessica and I had held hands? Maybe. I didn't really think too much about it anyway.

"Well, we've been friends for awhile," I said.

"Friends? Without benefits?" he snorted. "Believe me, my friend, there's no such thing!"

"Well, yeah, there is."

"What are you gay? Is she a dyke?" (I'd just like to interject and point out that all these statements were almost somewhat excusable due to the fact that he was completely sloshed.)

"No, we're not gay, she's just..." I stopped as if I hadn't started to say anything. (I'd just like to point out that I was slightly sloshed too. Otherwise I wouldn't have said anything at all!)

"She's just what? Oh, damn, you know what? I went out with this girl once, she had this godawful yeast infection, I don't think I ever slept with her once."

There was a big crowd and unfortunately it was difficult to make it back to our seats. Unfortunately!

"Is it that?" he asked.

"No, it's not that," I said, stupidly.

"Are you monks?"

"No." Why didn't I stop while I was ahead? I don't know.

Finally, yes finally we made it back to our seats. "Hey, dude, could I borrow your cell phone for a sec?" the guy asked me. "I gotta call somebody really quick."

"Like your mom!" one guy said cheerfully.

I lent him my phone. Jessica was sitting there patiently.

"Oh shit," the guy said, as some guy bumped into him from behind and he completely dropped my phone and it hit the ground hard.

"Goddamnit," I muttered.

"Oh shit," he said again, picking up the phone. He examined it. It seemed like the casing was broken.

"Shit, dude, I'm really fucking sorry about that," he said.

I took it from him quickly.

"We were just playing truth or dare," said the girl. "Who's secretly a chick or a dude?" she squealed in laughter. The three currently at the table besides Jessica all raised their hands.

"I guess Jessica doesn't want to play," she said.

"Yeah," I said absently. I looked at the phone again. The light was on. That was good.

"I'm not a dude," said Jessica with some spunk, sounding as if she was just happily playing along. "I'm a hot blooded woman!"

"Whoo! That's the way, girl!" said the other girl, reaching over to high five her. She turned to the two other guys at the table. "You're our bitches now!" she cried.

"Our lesbian lovers," said Jessica.

"Yes!" cried the girl. "Because you're both chicks!!!

"Oh, and we can have a big lesbian orgy!" she continued. She was leaning against Jessica because she was tipsy, along with all of her friends, who had been heavily drinking even before we had originally gotten there. At the moment though I was preoccupied with wondering if I had a screwdriver to open my phone when I back to the dorm...

"I just want to fuck a bunch of women!" the girl cried jokingly, and playfully grabbed high up the inside of Jessica's thigh.

"Oh, I'm really sorry!" said the girl giggling. "I'd better go sit with our bitches over there, that way I can gratify all my sexual urges!" She got up smiling, and then paused, and then looked funny at Jessica. "Do you have a dildo in your panties?" she asked.

Yes, she was drunk. Perhaps it was a valid question, though. Perhaps not. But that sort of blunt question is the kind that makes heads turn in a bar, no matter how softly it is said.

"I just felt something in your pants!" the girl cried out, not scared but curious. Yes, it was inappropriate, but she was drunk and in a bar.

She leaned in and very inappropriately cupped Jessica's crotch. "Oh my god! You have a penis!" she squealed. I'm sure others throughout the bar were quickly becoming privy to this conversation. She even reached for the waistband Jessica's panties and tugged it out before Jessica could push her away. She caught a glimpse and then let go. "Oh my god! Oh my god! She has a penis!"

"No fucking way," I heard someone say.

"Holy shit, I have to see this!" the guy who broke my fucking cellphone said. He reached towards Jessica. I found a bottle of whiskey and broke it squarely over his head. He fell down quickly. Jessica was scrambling to get up but the other three were coming towards her. They wanted to see, I guess, no more. I had the nose part of the bottle and I waved it at the girl, who was closest.

"Get the fuck back!" I yelled. Suddenly I felt pain in the back of my head. The fucker had gotten back up and hit me right back with another bottle. Then I went down.

This kind of shit doesn't go down in college bars. This kind of shit might, just might possibly happen at a frat party gone wrong. But how the fuck did it escalate like this?

I heard Jessica screaming, vaguely, and I got up, took a blow to the face which didn't really register in my mind very much, and then I guess I remember myself punching that girl right in the face.

"The slut has a penis!" the guy was yelling. I think I stabbed him in the gut with a shard of glass. He punched me in the face and when I was down he kicked me in the gut repeatedly. Then I heard screaming.

The fight had somehow escalated even more throughout the bar, and I crawled over to the wall, pulled out a fire extinguisher from its hook, and struggled up. I turned it on and waved the spray it into the crowd. "Everyone get out!" I think I yelled. "Everyone get the fuck out!"

The next thing I really remember clearly was lying on the floor near the counter in the dark, and I was alone with Jessica. There were no lights on, it was completely cleared of people, and there were probably a lot of people frantically moving around outside but I don't remember that. Even the bartenders had evacuated the building. I was lying next to Jessica, and she was lying in a pool of her own blood. I couldn't move very well because I myself had been beaten fairly badly. Not severely though.

"Oh my god!" said a man who had just randomly poked his in. "The police are coming. Hold on!" He ran out. Maybe he had some other severe emergency to deal with.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"Paul," she muttered. She grabbed my hand.

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. You're bleeding! What happened?" I instinctively pulled up her skirt because the blood had been coming from between her legs.

"Oh shit," was all I could say, because I felt like throwing up. It's amazing the sensation that I felt at that moment. It was overwhelming. Her penis had been stabbed with a knife and it seemed to be partially severed. I think that my hitting that guy had provoked him to react irrationally and violently, and it just kept escalating and escalating. I think that he's the one that did it, too.

She had another stab wound in her gut. It was deep.

"Oh shit," I said when I noticed it.

"They're coming soon," I said.

"I'm dying," she coughed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Me too," I said.

"I'm sorry for everything that happened. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I feel so bad for everything that has happened! Please, Paul."

"What?" I asked.

"Please, please remember me."

Her eyes fluttered closed and her head fell back. I just laid there with her in the pool of blood until an ambulance came. And then afterwards eventually she finally recovered, and she went through more surgery until she was completely a woman, just like that woman in the Mexican story except even more so because she had already had her adam's apple removed, even before I had met her. She was a real woman. And she didn't even have big hands. And we moved into a house together and got married and adopted three children. And everything was all okay.