by bigtruck_88
A fantastic story. Loved it. Poor hubby will know now that he gave fun to Dan in vain! Amanda had fun though. Jack will raise the baby of Dan now. Good!
This is one of the weakest plot devices in LW. The poor paralyzed husband wants to watch his whore with another man. Weak and over used.
This story worked for me. Not sure how. But it was direct, honest, and with just enough of that "gee willikers" attitude to attenuate the extreme pain a man would feel in a situation like this. And the surprise ending was like a gift to the man for being so generous to his wife.
Bravo.
ps Don't believe the cadres of illiterates, the term is "Buck Naked". It's just like all of the goofballs who say "chomping at the bit".
Normally not a good idea to pull a rabbit out of the hat in a story. After all, it's fiction, you can follow through with Jake and Amanda finishing up as he falls and starts to heal. With the rabbit,your readers feel about like Jake would have felt if this wasn't fiction. Besides, the rabbit wasn't necessary; I know a real life situation so parallel to your story it's scary.
I loved it until the very last line. Of course, I guess that was the only way it was going to make sense. Still gave it a five star rating. Wish it were longer.
Some of the earliest cave drawings have been translated, and they include stories in which terrible (or wonderful) things happen and then the protagonist wakes up from his dream. I'm sure that I'm dreaming that I read this all the way through! Hope I wake up soon!
you started with nice one but you blew it bad...and why with the foreplay??he is 19...fuck her brains out
Wow, glad to see you have absolutely no clue about people with spinal cord injuries. A bad premise filled with stupid stereotypes. Your punishment for this bad story should be to learn about people with physical disabilities.
her husband already said it was ok to fuck her, so why did this stupid boy jack himself onto her tits ? i would have given it to her there and then.
I can’t remember when I last felt this way, but strangely with this story I felt a basic lack of honesty by the implied author. I am not claiming that it was a conscious decision by the author of course (I can’t read minds), but the story itself came across as disgenuine. It felt as a voyeur/wimp/husband humiliation story, under a disguise of a non voyeur/non wimp/non husband humiliation, all folded into another layer of denial (“The dream”). All these complications did not make much sense to me, as it was quite clear where the author’s true erotic groove lies (the actual description of the sexual intercourse while the husband is watching). It brings me to the question: why bother? Why not write straight forward voyeur story without the pretence of hating it, or the lame plot device of it being all a dream? My sense is: stand behind your sexual fantasies whatever they may be, without trying to play it to those who like voyeurism of this kind and those who can’t stand it. You may end up with both groups disliking it.
does she have to say his name DAN in every one of her sentences??
You would think that someone whose sex life had been wiped out by "lightening" would have, at least, learned to spell the word.
It's "lightning".
Apart from that, a truly crap story.
Transparenty sick and without value. Why waste all this time for the very few cucksters?<P>
You could do better - couldn't you?
You wrote this story too fast, it is obvious that your cock was guiding your writing.....Did it feel good as you spunked the palm of your hand?
You wrote too fast and wrote too little anything of substance. It all added up to you blew a really interesting story of bad choices trying to fix a situation that God was working on all along.
You could have had something as one of the best stories ever posted here, but it was wasted on a cheap ending that sounded too guy and too intellectual.
How about the last half sentence in the story; "thankful that it all was only a nightmare."
I have to agree with ghostwords. There's no reason that this couple couldn't use artificial insemination with the husband's sperm. That blows the plotline and torpedos the story. No cookie for you.
really bad take off of wonderful 1996 movie "breaking the waves" which has an amazing performance by emily watson. it show up onIFC occasionally. if you have that channel be sure to watch it.
Dumb ending, but not as dumb as the protagonists not realizing that paralysis wouldn't stop the husband's body producing sperm. There would be no need for her to fuck another guy. Just harvest sperm and use IVF.
wow this is soooo awful sooooo bad that its laughable.
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Supposedly Amanda wants a Baby... she and Dan were willing to consider artifical insemination but decided against it.
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<b>so the alledged purpose of Fucking Jake is to get Amanda Pregnant </b>
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<b>WHY </b> was it neccessary for Amanda to show off her pussy to Jake? Jake is 19 years old!!!... like most 19 years old guys he would probably fuck a duck if you asked him... was there some doubt Amanda did NOT have a pussy ?
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<b>WHY</b> is it necessary for Amanda and Jake to masturbate in front of each other? How does THAT act relate to getting pregnant?
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Yeah I know to "Break the Ice?" Amanda just showed her pussy and Jake just showed his Cock... and they eneed to break the ice???
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<b>WHY </b> does Amanda places candles around the room ?
<b>Why </b> the soft music ....??
why slow close dancing???
<b> Isnt this JUST an impreganation seesion !?!?!</b> its NOT suppose to be romantic ...
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unless of course Jake and Amanda have been fucking before ????? </br>
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It seem to me she has been fucking Jake a LOT longer than Dan knwos about.
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In the sequel Dan finds out from the Pharmacy that her New perscription for BIRTH CONTROL pills has arrived....
How is it Proof it was all a dream? Dan can now walk after seeing the trauma of his wife cheat on him...
saying we have to go to the doctors tocheck on the sex of the baby is NOT proof that "it was all a dream "
I felt it wasn't fair to make the whole thing a dream!
I left a review on the New Story Reviews on the Author's Hangout of the Lit Forums.