All Comments on 'A Rush of Blood to the Head Ch. 03'

This story is brilliant. Simple as that, the characters feel real and interesting, and you put such effort into making each of these loving wives forays interesting and unique in some way. You are a breath of fresh air amid the sea of utter crap and anonymous, misogynist trolls that make this place so toxic.

anything against women is misogynistic isn't it.. All women married/single should be allowed to explore their sexuality with whoever they want and whenever they want. And all that husbands/boyfriends have to do is sucking up the bullshit all the time like a puppy and worship the earth these selfish woman like in this story walk on. The wife in this story didn't even know her husband and also made no efforts to know him. She only realised the consequences of her action bcos she was caught and finally made a go to know how her husband may feel. She didn't feel the need to love him bcos she was forced into marriage as a result of her pregnancy and after 7-8 years she still was full of shit and never did she try to change it. she was ready to take off with another guy without even discussing with her husband wht the problem was before pursuing the affair with some gigolo and here you talk of misogynists. you know wht this category is meant to dicuss mainly abt cheating wives and you bragging some nonsense just doesn't work out.

PS: I do like stories abt faithful men and women and the way they work around difficulties that life poses them with, but then a realtionship is most important and the most stable factor in their lives, they love their families and any selfish deeds of them to hamper that must be punished and especially the marriage fidelity factor which makes the cheated spouse feel incapable, insuffiecient, inadequate as a human which is the worst form of human rights abuse.

Also nobody's stopping from starting a category of loving husbands where the jerks who cheat are punished. whoever does wrong has to pay, so stop cribbing abt being misogynistic.

Truly great stuff. A great trumpet blast of feminist truth. Reminds of Doris Lessing's "Golden Notebook." Is it really impossible for someone like you get a proper hardcover publisher who's will to spend some bucks to promote you? What, in other words, is a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

Some animals will gnaw their leg off to liberate themselves from a trap. The narrator did the same thing by spreading her thighs to get out of that prenup. So an exquisitely played story hits the homestretch and its very well fucked ( on a multitude of levels) characters writhe to the occasions so diabolicaly fashioned by the enfante auteur, GirlintheMoon.

I could nitpick with story minutae and particulars. That's futile because the voice heard is unique due the fact that, regardless of the consequences, both the authoress and her main characters bandy words, hurt, get hurt and heal in their own inimatable ways. The bottom line is - was the story memorable ?

Well the sex scenes were indeed nigh-molten, but I'm not forgetting Mark's bravura scene where he sees through her ploy to foster a fight and cuts through that with words to effect that he's tired and worked all day, while she's stayed home thinking of some way to create conflict and all he wants to do is be still and just sit and be with her. Nope, I'm not forgetting that scene anytime soon. *****

You brought us another brilliant chapter! I would pay to read your words.

A full throttle five stars. You get inside the head of your characters so well, the confrontations in this one were spectacular. Loved it!

the end.. no part 3 please. perfect ending

Love the way you use dialogue to create your characters, especially your narrator. I agree that you could write for a living. One woman makes good money selling short erotic stories on Amazon...even without a publisher it's possible and I would encourage you to try.

Calling it now, in chapter 4 hubby takes the cheating skank back just because (insert some inane bullshit reason to do so) like all this authors endings. Oh, I'm sure there will be lots of very well written gnashing of teeth over how Lucy and Mark see that their really each others soul mate and can't live without the other.

Great job getting into the minds of your characters. A very enjoyable read that is very well written.

Not only does Girlinthemoon have perfect pitch when it comes to dialogue, she has perfect pitch for internal dialogue.She does what the very best writers do, she puts the reader into the mind of a real person, a living, breathing, hurting real person, and she does it with seeming ease. Wherever this amazing tale ends up, whatever occurs to Lucy or to Mark or to anyone of the others, Girlinthemoon has done what any writer worth his/her salt begs to do, has created a person that it is impossible to forget...or....to care about. (David Remnick needs to find Girlinthmoon. Her stories belong in his magazine.)

We understand wife's sense of ennui, confusion and depression about her situation. I am not sure I understand husband's point of view yet and would like to know if he loves his wife or if he just decided to do the honorable thing and marry her and live with her because he liked her. Please explore husband's real feelings.

On another note, it is kind of weird how some commenters use the comment section to castigate other commenters obsessively every time they write a comment.

Five Stars

anon.1

I cannot wait to see how this story turns out. Does he forgive her or go scorched earth to destroy her . She slipped but the marriage still is salvageable if he wants it. It seems she learned a good lesson , now what.? If they is a prenup has to live with it if not he cannot destroy. Her and the courts usually have set rules on splitting assets . If if she lived in a fault state 7 years in a marriage usually that when someone slips. So it 50-50 or 60-40 or the prenup rules. Hopefully they can put humpy dumpy back together somehow? BTB crowd loves to see the women fired.

I don't recall ever seeing a better written chapter than this one on this site. There's some serious talent shown here. Maybe it was inspired by the blood red moon and eclipse the other night? This moon girl is very good.

We know that no matter what happens in the story .. the very first thing she is going to do is complain about all the male readers and their post. In fact she almost never post anything of any critical value with regard to the actual story. Kind of of an aunt characteristic

???????????..........!

This was the most incredible writing I've ever read on this site! I can't picture anyone giving this anything less than a 5. I have always enjoyed this woman's writing but this was over the top!

The apparent skill of this particular writer is impressive and there are some good things about the story but are also some serious flaws. What really kills the story is the fact that we don't know anything about Mark ...who he is or the history of the marriage until chapter three... and that is simply too long with respect to this story development.

It appears that the marriage is one of convenience... which explains some of the " wanderings" of the wife. That being said.. I don't think I have ever come across a particular wife / woman in the LW category as much as I hate Lucy. And I don't mean I dislike. I mean I want her to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair .

Throughout all of these sorts of serious LW stories... no matter what appalling vile deceitful actions ..words... and betrayal by the wife ... NO man ever gets around to spitting in her face or slapping her. It was most gratifying to see that happen this story.

Lucy really is a horrible shallow and most damningly amazingly stupid person. She is actually stunned to learn that a guy like Luke... With serious character flaws... a guy who would intervene and break of the marriage... is also not telling LUCY the truth.

There was no spell by Luke. Lucy is just a stupid shallow delusional cunt. The idea that she actually thought that Luke MIGHT be a "soul mate '-- whatever the fuck that is -- given his actions are extremely revealing about such a pathetically stupid person .

The rough SEX at the end of the story was a complete waste of time and totally unnecessary. This is a classic type of plot device used by women in LW stories. Some of these women writers think that men are nothing but mindless testosterone driven primates. and simply HAVE to have violent or rough sex to " re claim what is there "... blah blah blah. It' is pretty obvious that this particular author probably has never spoken to a man from more than half an hour without fucking him

I enjoyed this story because there were consequences and a strong male character. I really abhorred the previous stories, where the woman had virtually no consequences and seemingly had the upper hand. This one feels more real.

I don't care if they get back together or not. I feel confident that whichever way it turns out, you'll be true to the characters.

at the low scores for this. For us writers, this lady has raised the bar for all of us!

Or Harry, some women like rough sex. It's almost like some authors write stories because they turn them on or because it appeals to them, not to appeal to the almighty HarryinVa and what he wants and thinks. Maybe, just maybe, she thought that was hot. I did, it was an incredibly real and raw part of the story. So why don't you go back to the sexless, non-erotic revenge shit you little boys all like to sit around and read and let some of us read actual porn on a porn site.

but really some of you think this is hemmingway, buy a book.

As one of the more talented Lit writers used to say, "consequences are a bitch." Consequences out the wazoo in this chapter. Hope somebody informs Luke's fiancé of his true nature - she doesn't deserve such a slime ball. Hope Lucy gets a job as a McDonalds or Flying J janitor.

There is no doubt that moon girl can write. Unfortunately, all of the relationships in her stories are toxic and her characters unlikeable. I don't know how to score this story. I didn't like it. I found it completely implausible. Mark marries the bitch because she gets pregnant. He supports her for seven years and have a friendly if not satisfying relationship for the wife. Suddenly, wife thinks she has to fuck his co-worker who has so little regard for her that he won't even give her his cell phone number. I guess wives on the moon are so slutty they fall for bad guys in the blink of an eye and dream that they will become future soul mates. Here on earth, men who assault their soon to be ex-wives, rape them and leave them bloody, go to jail and lose their license to practice law. If the bitch was willing to fuck Luke in public in husband's office, she wouldn't hesitate to call 911 and keep from losing everything in a divorce. It must really suck to live on the moon.

The great HarryinVA... who has never posted a story in his pathetic life, but regards himself as an authority on criticising the stories of others.

Just wondering why karen craves HarryV's attention so much?

I'll wait until the next chapter before voting. It really just depends on where it goes from here.

A superbly written chapter by one of the best writers here. GIM always writes excellent emotion and her characters are beautifully flawed, but yet so real.

Thank you,

M1*****

Lucy won't contest the divorce, she'll ask for nothing and she will vanish. What Mark doesn't know is his final love making with Lucy will produce a off spring. He won't learn of this for years to come. Well written tale and well worth the time reading. Thanks for writing and sharing.

And a totally self absorbed one at that.

I read somewhere that if you marry for money, you earn every penny. Appears to be the case here when she stayed in the marriage.

Stupid couple. Looks like they really loved each other. Guess money can't buy smarts when it comes to relationships. Husband really has no choice but divorce - she said she didn't love him. What incentive is there for him to stay with her?

Who cares where it goes from here? The journey TO here has been superb, and I don't think the journey ONWARD will be any less spectacular!

5*

Most readers in this category want their particular outcome in order to be pleased. It's the cuck/wimp crowd vs. the BTB gang. I usually lea to the latter, not enjoying husband humiliation at all. Your two characters are complicated and, frankly, neither is very likeable. Hubby wants a trophy wife in a loveless marriage. Wife is self-absorbed and rationalizes cheating as revenge for hubby's only presumed cheating. No one to cheer for here.

Keep on writing. There is always consequences when spouses cheat. It starts off exciting but can end very badly.

Her characters may be flawed, self absorbed, and unsympathetic, but they have a realism that's hard to deny. The most perfect villains in literature are the ones that are intelligent enough to know they're villains, and what the consequences of their actions could be, and do it anyway.

She knew it was wrong, knew it would most likely end badly, but stayed her course.

Of course she could have handled it differently, had the moral courage to talk to her husband about her unhappiness and the decline of their relationship, but people often do the wrong thing for the right reasons. Inertia, fondness, cowardice, they all play a part. But when it went to hell, she didn't lie, whine, or do spin control, knowing what was coming.

Thanks for the read.

Q

But I will say that it is to my mind an interesting melange of Angiquesophie and DQS1... the first for the perverse manifestations of love and the second for the lives that love destroys.

And, for those of you who have no resonance in your heart, the sex scene at the end of this chapter was to prove how much Mark loved the protagonist... they "say" they are way too cool for love... but will their passion destroy them?

I await eagerly for the conclusion. Either (of many) ways, I trust this author to be inspiring.

Green-something

What does his pre nup say about assault? Or rape? Making her walk across shards of glass? The evidence of rape from the bruising of the vagina? Courts don't generally appreciate actions like that.

A very good chapter and I hope that she is able to make her own way.

Review the proper grammar use of "I" and "me." Many good authors and people in general make this common mistake. I look forward to your future stories.

Another fine work from one of Lit's finest scene writer.

I have always loved your stories and am patiently waiting for the return of "Lust for life" and "Color me your baby" and many others. This was another great story. I do feel sorry for Marc and Lucy it' seems that they did love each other but were unable to communicate with each other.. While I do agree Lucy was wrong for actually sleeping with Luke it does not seem that Marc is innocent either. He clearly was about to sleep with her friend when he changed at the last minute. I am sure I will get other reviewers who disagree with me and j have a feeling it won't go the way I am about to say, I am kind of hoping Marc will change is mind about Lucy and stay with her. I believe with therapy they will realize they love each other and new communication and they each made mistakes. But that's just my hope. But I hope you don't listen to some of these horrible reviews that say terrible things. I think you are an amazing writer and you write about complex emotions and consequential actions. Keep up the great work an I can't wait for you to upload your old stories. And even if Marc and Lucy don't work out I still love your stories! But I have hope for love!!

Not your normal story at all, it one's real.... fascinatingly real.

Soundtrack: Nine Inch Nails, "The Fragile", and then " Broken"... hopefully "Fixed" after I read the next chapter, but a writer of this calibre could make a good story out of an apocalyptic finish, so we'll have to wait on that.

Exceptionally well written. Nice twists and turns in the story. Good scene setting and descriptions.

Hard to read at times, but I hope there is more, thanks.

Marc is a real dick. He hated her when he had to marry her, probably thought the pregnancy was all her fault, he's cheated on her, with her best friend no less, loves that she has no friends of her own and that he had a hand in running of her last friend (makes her easier to control when she's isolated) and Angela probably isn't the only affair he's had. All this times coming late and tired weren't just from work. The rape was diffinetely premeditated.As Lucy already knows money doesn't buy happiness or love.The farther she gets away from Marc the better off she'll be.

I know Marc believes Lucy will just roll over and crawl wawy. And, because of her guilt she probably will. But I do hope that she doesn't that she stands up and fights. Instead of getting some things and leaving should call the cops and report the rape and get a restraining order. Then pack a suitcase for Marc and leave it on the front lawn.

At least she got what she wanted - emotion from her husband. A kind of love even.

But what a cost.

Since there's a Ch 4 I suppose we'll get a coda of sorts.

Press on.

Are you so brainwashed that you associate right wing with crap? This story is LEFT WING drivel. Pull your head out of your ass!

Did you even read the fucking Story did you he did not fuck around on her READ the STORY you fucking scum

The blanket that hides the real self, from others & from us. That's the life they have been living, just like many of us.

Lost souls, under a blanket of lies.

Being a happily ever after guy, I hope they realize, you don't just find a Soul Mate, you earn.

Will they learn?

A 5, again.

She got treated like she deserved.

She is a piece of dogshit and he was actually lenient on her.

I have read through this and the final chapter was a little less than satisfying.

Think about it. Men trade love for sex; women trade sex for love, and romance. She went for the cotton candy. One or two licks and it was gone. Her mistake was not wanting love and romance, but forgetting there are honorable and dishonorable ways to get what you want. Her biggest mistake was that she got spoiled, then she got lazy. She was right to want more, and better. She ruined herself forgetting about the morals and ethics of being a spouse. Maybe it will destroy her. Maybe it will make her stronger. If you continue the story you'll find out.

I like the setup. I like the end game even better. Very well done.

Thank you.

And I appreciate this story far more than the first time.

Lucy is obviously unhealthy mentally and emotionally. Probably having a breakdown and her sluttish behavior was a symptom of her degeneration.

It still doesn't absolve her at all for becoming a disgusting person but the shot to the nuts on old Bruce was pretty good!

Another layer of this story is peeled back. I knew that they married because she was pregnant, but during the conversation with her blackmailer, I realized that the "marriage" was actually built on an understanding of each other, rather than love.

Most of us in the western world would look down on this. After all, the only reason for marriage is the self gratification of the love that is given us by our spouse. We love them, and we get loved in return. That is what marriage is about, right?

Except for the fact that arranged marriages have been around for centuries. Monarchs married their children off for political gain, rich people married their children off for furthering their empire. While these marriages aren't really built on love, they become an understanding over time. You learn the other person, and in a sense, the two of you become closer than two love crazed kids who have a 50% chance of being divorced in 5 years. Am I shitting on marriages built on love? No. Of course, it is the optimum choice. What I'm saying is that marriages like this one do exist, and do work. Love isn't always the feeling. Love can be a choice. The husband in this story made the choice to love his wife. He appreciated her for who she was, and didn't try to change the things about her that he didn't like. He found a beauty in their arrangement, and he took comfort in the good things about their relationship. While this marriage wasn't built on "love", it was built on mutual respect. That is, until her boredom caused her to trash it.

On to the next chapter

Admittedly, I was leading the village mob, exhorting it on, enflaming it's fury, urging it's pace during the inexorable march toward the roaring bonfire awaiting the destruction of her blackened soul.

Your skill worded a view of her heart laid bare, exposing long hidden feelings and a throbbing self-inflicted wound.

Needless hurt say most. Needful pain say I.

My perspective brought me up short. I abandoned them mob.

I await two people, not so much returning to their beginning, but beginning the return to the moment they turned away from who they had always yearned to be

Having discovered this story but a week ago, I am now one chapter shy of a dozen complete readings. Each one slower and more contemplative than the preceeding.

My gratitude also to javmor-spelling incorrect and incomplete but I am certain you and others know to whom I refer

In an unusual slice of society, and good development of the pople. Cinco !

@Javmor79, nice analysis, but I beg to differ in one slight way, true love is always a choice, a choice and a commitment to stand by that choice. OldBearSwitch

This author writes only RAAC. So if you can accept an RAAC after this betrayal read on. Otherwise stop now.

So far so good.

A great cathartic scene. I am hoping she’ll figure out a new start, become a saint, feed the poor, etc., but the power of snark dies hard, and she’s too used to the easy life. Maybe live rough then reboot, and appreciate it more next time. Once again, great writing.

Absolutely brilliant

as the story is well written and engrossing, yet the angsty, spoiled indecisive voice of the female lead is grating. And it seems to be all you write...the females are always conflicted, scared, lack confidence and moral backbone that allows them to make good decisions. I will say that on the positive side it does make me appreciate my wife, sisters, etc more as they are nothing like this character.

Half way through so not commenting on the entire opus but I actually really like Lucy, I like her attitude and her intelligence and i even like her Achilles's heel. I think I can't stand the way she got played by Luke, the master fisherman, reel 'em slow catch and release. Wow. Usually these little torrid tales don't involve male on female violence and i was truly shocked it's here in this section as well as the cut feet. I liked the destruction on the furniture, many times I read these and wonder, why isn't he tearing the shit of this place? but here it was an orchestrated ballet until he slapped her, it was Riff getting knifed by Benardo you know, it's all song and dance until it gets real. At any rate Lucy should have gotten out of there awhile back, she doesn't want to be there and the reward for being there (Money, Status, Ordinary but adequate sex) isn't enough.

So real - it's like I'm really living this with them. Great testament to your ability to write - 5+*

wonderful writing...

normally i would feel bad for the spouse who got cheated on but not this guy even if he had the balls to tell her to leave. what guy would fuck his cheating wife after what she did?

Lucy couldn't keep her legs together. She got what she deserved

Stupid move on Marks part technically raping her before he kicked her out. Little head thinking before the big head. Anyways if it happened this way she's in the drivers seat now.

Surprised that commenters are so one-sided. First, it is crazy to think that a DA would charge Mark for rape. What evidence? It was a final (hate) fuck between two soon to be ex-spouses. Yeah making her stand up on broken glass was a dick move. Yes he slapped her. And yes he was pissed at her. But how did he force her? Pushing her on thr table. You thinka DA even seeing that on a recording between a.husband and wife would prosecute? Where did she say "no"? When did she resist? He took her hard at the start and then she started to respond, got wet, and she orgasmed. And he told her why he did it. She enjoyed watching him orgasm. She saw it on her won face in thr mirror. On a totally different note, it was interesting to see, surprise!, Mark had dreams and emotions too! She isn't the center of the universe. The only person with emotions. Amazing! The universe is not just a figment of her imagination. Yeah he is hurt enough he plans to rain down hell on her. Do you think that is because he hates her or has no felling for her? Hmm. I wonder... They had a messed up marriage, but he is right. She never spoke to him about what she was feeling. She never confronted him. As per Mark: "So instead of trying to talk to me, or doing anything productive, you fucked Luke. So I would—what? Notice? Get jealous? Confess my undying love for you? I don't fucking buy it, Lucy. Tell me a different story." Then her "all of the above and "who cares" comment, followed by his emphatic response that he does. And the "Poor Lucy" paragraph. Well done. He thought they had something but didn't express it well enough to her, so she collapsed under her own self pity, greed, selfishness, dissatisfaction, disillusionment that she thought she had found her soulmate in Luke after having sex several times. Lol. Was she ever wrong. Very will written.

Wow! Some complex many layers characters but more real than most I fear dang good job wonderful. So often a story is written, and the characters are set, or just wonder all over (motivation /reactions to events) or the cheater is left out of the story completely, other than supplying things for the cheated on to react to. But, here in a dozen pages there was growth and change as well as showing more than just a cheating bitch or abusive blaggard both are to blame in so many ways dang well done.

I mean he was acerbic to the point of abusive, the same could be said for her, but she had 0 power so I think she made bad choices I could see how she might get there despite the cring of her doing so. I have a new level for 5s now

Wow is right! How do you know all this. Great writing. My emotions as a reader are fully engaged.

5 blazing stars. Very well written, complex and poignant.

Well written, but totally implausible.