All Comments on 'A Tale of Murder'

There are much better ways to get revenge on your cheating spouse and her lover. This is not the way, however. Two stars because it was well written.

his cornhole buggered, he smoked the meatiest cock, betrayed!

The only problem is that like the detective I feel that murder should be punished and so I accompanied his apparent success with mixed feelings. Enjoyable as a fantasy!

five stars

People kill each other in real life over alot less than a cheating bitch. So this auther had his leading man kill his wife for cheating. Big fucking deal. It;s great to hear that the guy blew the cunts brains out once in a while, it breaks up the monotany of some pussy that doesn't have the balls to stand up for himself and then whines about how much his life sucks without her. Or eaven more unlikely that he ends up with some porn star doppleganger that fucks him 8 days a week. So 5 stars to you for a story that to me sound more plausible that the guy lost it and shot his wife.

and a good lawyer gets him off, no sweat. TK U MLJ LV NV

Well written logically laid out story from start to finish. Author had husband plan well...but there are always the "loose ends".

A 5 for a fine tale.

the ending sucked.

Oh well, at least his cheating bitch of a wife and her seducer went to hell first and enjoyed the accommodations while he was living life to the fullest. Having someone buy the gun for him was a weak point, much better to pick up a street gun with no records and no trail to him.

Did he have to kill his wife ? Being content with stealing a fortune would have kept audience empathy, or at least mine . This was ok & would have been a triumph for most authors. Unfortunately I hold MGM to a higher standard.

The narrator was a one time killer ( in terms of cheating couples ) , I going it odd that he had minimal twinges of conscience . I'm probably projecting on that un'. It happens. Say has Elmore written a sequel to ' Out of Sight ' ? That was a ok movie. Whatever happened to that cutie 'Jennifer Lopez ?

Who misses bums? A clean cut out and home free.

author contradicts himself. sanders liked to marry, to feel love to have sex so now he is screwing all women. and why kill your spouse for cheating ,there are many ways to exact revenge without going to jail . murder is not acceptable anytime..so much for the human mind,brain. etc

I gave you ***** and I'd like to tell you why. This story went full circle. No crime is perfect and our hero/villian can't bring himself to kill the one person who can identify him. For all that murder is never justified the author does not justify it here. The circle is closed when the police finally arrest the hero/villian at the end of the piece. Very well done. As to the lack of emotional state in the hero/villain, I believe the author got it right. In the aftermath of tramatic revelation, there can be a disociative period when the end justifies the means and a person will not look at their actions in an emotiional way. Right and wrong for a time are meaningless. The action is the only thing.

ToS2/1Tm

one small nit in the US the wedding ring is on the left hand not right.You also may want to get an editor to help,some of the wording was rough...but a neat story

who was the cop pattered after, Columbo?

yeah, instant out of nowhere case solution.

the only thing that was premeditated was the killing of a perfectly good revenge tale.

The point on which he was caught makes no sense.

Why would anyone want to frame him for murder? He goes to some trouble to create a false trail of "him" buying a gun, but it isn't his fingerprint. So someone was trying to frame him? Why? For what?Why not just kill him? He had a perfectly good plan, a home invasion gone bad. Why leave the gun? Wipe it down and hide it well. Dispose of it ASAP. Don't tell the guy who gets it for you who you are or let him get a good look at your face. The gun disappears, the trail disappears. No link to the thief who gets caught later.

I have no problem with the concept that someone that commits murder deserves to be caught. But the method used, that someone was framing him for some unknown purpose, made no sense to begin with and its only real purpose was to leave a trail by which he was caught. Too obvious.

betrayedbylove05/23/12

Bad

A cuck is a cuck is a cuck. All should perish horribly.

HA

by Anonymous05/23/12

Judas

well reamed cornhole, he smoked the meaty cock, betrayed!

by Anonymous05/23/12

Betrayedbylove hits the nail on the head.

If your wife fucks around on you you're cucked. Knowing about it or not makes no iota of difference. People know. You're always the last. You rarely see the horns being made behind your back. In fact, I know it sounds crazy, the unknowing cuck is the saddest cunt. He don't even know what his wife is upto.

So I was surprised to read Betrayedbylove's bio, where he admits his wife cucked him for years. Acceptance is a good thing. Even if a cuck is a cuck is a cuck.

Five to Mr. Magmaman.

Like many of the other commenters, I don't condone murder as a solution to infidelity. But I got the distinct impression that MGM was not justifying the actions, just telling a story. This is seen where to protag is carted off to jail at the end. I tend to prefer more of an explanation of the characters' mindset and emotions--here, the wife's story is completely untold--but the story telling style and voice made this story. Compelling. I could easily see it happen in real life.

Thanks for sharing.

Wulf

The comments, I mean. All over the map, of course everyone has an opinion.

I like to delve into human emotions, human failings, human stupidity. Some would say he "should have" or "could have" and of course they are correct.

Yet anyone who contemplates murder is not exactly in their right mind, are they? Fingerprints, DNA, mistakes get people caught daily. There is always a flaw.

A clever plan, all messed up from the git go. The loose end of the man who purchased the firearm, such a clever way to help get away with it? Of course he could just kill the man and keep the money but he is not a murderer...or a thief. Not really, at least not in that way.

The hint of why was the Father who cheated, left him angry and blaming the indescretion. Just a hint, but offers the why of it. Was that deliberate on my part?

Yes.

No, he is mad, enraged, being so clever to get revenge that he outsmarts himself, even going so far as to cripple himself trying for a flesh wound?

Nothing makes sense, that creates doubt. Like he figured, charges dropped.

Then using women? More vengence, another sign of a mental lapse. In the end, he was a thief and not a very nice man.

Would a detective pursue? One locally just arrested a suspect, 23 years after the crime. I loved his line on TV. "I always knew he did it!"

Lots of comments, I like that. Some good constructive criticism, too. I could have made this far longer, but I didn't want to.

LoL

MGM

Everybody really needs to lighten up, well most need to.

Thanks to Mman for a good spoof. I got a good chuckle out of it but I found the opinions of the over the top serious dicks just as funny.

Thanks, I can always use a good laugh and I hope the dicks keep being fooled fools.

Hell I think it should be legal to kil a cheating whore wife and her lover

He intended to kill his wife. He did. Fine; but a real man would own up to it. A bitch covers it up. A real man takes care of his shit, a coward attacks from behind. A real man is a good example of how you take care of business, a wannabe is made an example of.

Guess which catagory our "hero" is. Hope he enjoys the electric chair.

MGM:

You did a fine job of leading us around the horn. We all, at least I did, wanted to believe he was a victim of a home invasion. By the time you revealed the hero as the perp, I had done swallowed the hook.

You know, that is a great job of weaving your story. Thank you for a fun read. I voted ***** 5 stars.

Best regards,

-Pultoy

should have sold the business when it became profitable and ran somewhere without extradition.

MGM provided a giant clue about the ruse when he wrote that the flue had not been cleaned the week before ON PURPOSE. That could only mean that our 'Hero' wanted the fire to go out before the gloves were totally consumed.

Hard to believe 'Hero' didn't gloat to Sweety before plugging her between the eyes. But that is the time in which the victim always figures out a way to thwart the evil plan, so it was smart to eschew that 'gotcha'!

5*. Good read!

Never leave loose ends

I thrive on it personally, I do believe I could achieve my goal and get away scott free, the trick is to be liberal with info especially with those who might take acception to others behavior. A good example is pick the most insanely jealous person and fake photos making it look like Ben is banging his wife, with luck he kills him. As for the wife, nah, killing her is letting her have the easy way out, I probably tell her I know and when she as most would do would say something to the effect "I'll do anything to save the marriage" I repeat anything, then I tell her to meet Ben once more and her price of pentance is bring me his sliced off cock. Hey who knows she might just do it. I'd put it in a sausage grinder there would be no Bobbit for Ben, hey she does it I'd be content to let Ben live dickless. The weapon in your story, take advantage of private sales, there is no registration, background check, or record of said transaction. Unregistered weapons are easy to loose perminately.

For sharing.

1 Star for a good story with a lame assed ending.Magma Women always likes to make her cuck men suffer as much humiliation as possible.

After 3 good stories in a row I really thought this author was starting to grow a pair.

Oh well, maybe next time.

i would go to trial with that in a flash - bum did it - that is why he bought the gun, wnated to be a robber - but killed on his first attempt and left another dying. hell any fool could win that case for the husband. gave u a 5. in california 48.7% of all people arrested for criminal conduct are FACTUALLY INNOCENT! just smile at the cop and laugh at him later when you walk.

....good story mm, glad you kept it short, but some tension from her part would have been nice.

stay the hell away from schools you damn nonce!

I do not like the murder, I prefer the not violance revenge stories............

Overall a good murder mystery, but not too believable.

I think he should have blown both of them up while he was in Seattle with a good alibi of fucking the little sweet night clerk.

A cell phone to set the primer on the bomb, and have the power to detonate the bomb from the ignition switch. A simple phone call to the cell phone after he figured they were in the motel room would do the trick, and when they were finished fucking and wanted to go home Ben starts his car with both of them in it.

Cold blooded murder..

Yes, some things are best left in fantasy and thank God this story is not real (or I hope it is not, at least)..

I'm not sure if he'll get away with it in court. The tramp obviously must have been given the money, and he has no motive to kill the guy and the guy's wife - after signing the gun purchase for him. It would be crazy. I think while it would still seem bizarre if there's no confession, he'd still go down, but depends on the judge/jury I guess.

Thanks for writing magma!

... but I can't help wishing he had gotten away with the murders. That would have been perfect.

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

Sanders now has the money and resources to retain a top of their class team of lawyers. They will tear apart every detail of the prosecution's case for every weakness. All the defense needs is some of the jurors to believe that there is the prosecution failed to prove Sanders guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

If all the prosecution can come up with is a drunken derelicts word that he was paid by Sanders, it's a he said, he said case. Certainly not enough proof for a conviction as long as Sanders stood firm and refused to plead guilty. Yes the home-invasion shootings are suspicious but the evidence was in Sanders favor that is why the investigation tried to find a motive for others to shoot Sanders and kill his wife.

Maybe, after these years the investigation might come up with info that Harrington and Melody had an affair but I would have my doubts if it was possible to definitely prove it for a murder trial. Especially as evidence for such an affair was not available after the home-invasion shootings.

As for Sanders inheriting from Harrington, he smartly only inherited the business and left the rest to his deceased boss' brother. It is not unreasonable for a business to provide for their survival by arranging for it to go to the most senior and experienced employee upon the death of the Owner. I opinion that the author was hinting that the brother had no connections to the business except it had been owned by his brother.

That left the only weak point I could see in this dastardly plot. The Notary has to be smart enough to realize that she had committed conspiracy and fraud and did she pay the taxes on that payment of the gold coins she had received? I would credit her with enough good sense to run like hell when Harrington and friend were blown up? If Sanders had not already quietly disposed of her?

The explosive death of Harrington and his latest fling actually would provide the defense with reasonable doubt by claiming the home-invasion shooting and Harrington 's death were probably an attempt by gangsters to extort from the business or even take it over as a legitimate front to criminal activities such as money-laundering and drug smuggling. That supposition has got to influence any jury who watches a lot of Fox News.

I don't see any other evidence then the testimony of an admitted drunk facing prison as an accomplice to murder. After how many years? Hell, I'm lucky if I remember what I ate for yesterday's breakfast! The defense is going to help the jury understand that this a never-do-well trying to keep his ass out of a prison cell by inventing lies against an upstanding businessman, pillar of the community, heartbroken by the tragic death of his beautiful young wife, etc; etc.

Finally the bum will die. No, no, Sanders won't have to lift a finger. The prosecution will do it for him. They will forcibly sober the bum up and clean him up and treat him for what ever addictions and diseases he is crawling with.

From bitter experience I know that at the very first opportunity a trustee or guard will slip him some rocket juice or whatever drugs are smuggled in. The bum will ingest whatever toxic his detoxified system has lost its tolerance for and he'll be dead or brain dead. Where is the case against Sanders then?

- fanfare -

I doubt any DA would actually prosecute the case. Years later all of the possible evidence that could be brought to show how or why he did it would be gone and all they would have is a criminal who claims he purchased a gun for a guy. That is all they would have and it wouldn't be enough to convict if he had a halfway decent defense attorney. Its a good story up to the end.

Like many have said. It won't stick! I liked the revenge. Thanks

The only evidence implicates the guy who bought the gun. His claim that the guy the evidence says he shot paid him to buy the gun for him will have a jury rolling on the floor laughing.

so was he salaried or "on the clock" Contradicting comments only a few paragraphs apart.

Gotcha my ass! On what evidence? The word of a drunken burglar? That'll go a long way in court! And seeing as he was acquitted the first time, ALL the original evidence is now inadmissible, so they LITERALLY have only the word of a bum. Actually, the detective will probably be sued for harassment!

Is a procedural defense that forbids a defendant from being tried again on the same (or similar) charges following a legitimate acquittal.

I may be mistaken, but I don't think the case ever went to trial, so double jeopardy wouldn't apply.

The forensics would have shown that the husband's wound could not have been self-inflicted, because the gunpowder residue around his wound would show the shot came from a distance.

Rewrite!

He was a good dude until he found out his wife and boss had a long-running affair going on. He should have been able to get off with deep-sixing her. I have ZERO compassion or sympathy for a whoring, adulterous wife. I don't care what he did to the traitorous boss either. Right up to the very end I was hoping he would, at least, get away with murdering his bitch wife. If I had been on the jury, I could not cast a 'Guilty' ballot against him. Prosecuting Attorneys would never let me on a jury involving the shooting or maiming of a lying, cheating wife...or husband. Terrible ending. You usually write such good stories. This just goes to prove that not everything you write is gold. but I am sure you will bounce back splendidly.

It just had a sad dark ending with the aggrieved husband being arrested. He deserved to live in peace and prosperity.

make it hard to read. I didn't bother finishing it.

5 to help the score.

While I agree with KarenE that double jeopardy probably wouldn't apply since he was never tried the first time.

I DO agree with those that the testimony of someone trying to get themselves out of a jam might not carry that much weight, though there IS the problem of how he knew the hero's name.

Some minor points -

First he says he's on salary, then he tells his wife he'll be on the clock.It can't be both!

He was shocked that she was fucking his boss? Didn't he already suspect them?

With the notary, he talked about handing HIM a stack of documents, then mentions the "woman" and "she".

A good ending although a lot of idiots here didn't get it.

Why would anyone try to match a set of fingerprints to a closed case? Answer? They wouldn't . So he got away with it. Even with the vagrants discovery all a good lawyer would have done was put Ben with his wife to create reasonable doubt and he STILL gets away with it. Bad ending.

I can just imagine the look on the cheating cunts' face when she knew that she'd been caught and the terror that must have been written there when she realized the price she was about to pay.

"Hi honey... I'm home."

And the sneaky slut dutifully comes to kiss him but gets a goodbye kiss from..... a bullet. Ahhhhh yes.... sweet justice.

I agree with the previous comment. The case was closed so no one would be looking to match new prints to the old ones from that case. The more dangerous risk would be the Notary Public having a conscience and having a lawyer get the DA to give her a pass for talking to the police.

Very well done... * * * * * 5 stars

Would he give bum his name....and not disguise himself??

Other than that good story

the fickle finger turns slow but does make its circle. TK U MLJ LV NV

Gotta tie up those loose ends. Good story of the dangers of cheating and murder.

2 starrs

a drugged out bum

no motive

no murder weapon

a reasoanable defense attorney is going to claim the bum was fed Sanders' name by an over zealous cop

Good story but the ending was just not plausible. Boo to you after writing a good story

As long as he keeps his mouth shut and has a halfway competent lawyer, the cops have nothing. The only shred of "evidence" they have is the testimony of a hobo who likely has a history of substance abuse. Their case would get torn apart in short order.

Murder is never the answer. I enjoyed this story. His wife was a cheating bitch, and his boss an idiot. But hubby took revenge too far. He shot his wife in the face at point-blank range. This is one cold and soulless dude. Divorce was a better option. I'm glad he was arrested, but I doubt he'll spend time behind bars. Once a cheater, always a cheater is a frequent mantra found on these pages. But once a murder, always a murderer is a thought not to be easily discarded.

This is a fucking story, and no pixels were injured in its writing. Second, sometimes killing IS the fucking answer. Finally, the ending seriously diminished an otherwise fine piece of work.

don't leave loose ends.

Wonder if the wife would have preferred a Mexican whorehouse?

Consequences, there are always unintended consequences with one loose end. Just like watching Columbo, we always know who, how and why, but there is always just one more question. Signed: BTW

For a smart crook, the author was lazy! A smart crook would have got the look alike drunk and tossed him into the river. He would of also burned the guy’s hand to mask his finger prints. Drunks burn their hands on hot stoves all of the time!

Should have let Ben know before he killed him. No remorse here.

Damn, wanted him to get by with it. He was just eliminating vermin.

Again. He wasn't at bad guy at all. What's a few murders, at least he wouldn't cheat or tolerate anyone who did.

I really liked it, I was growing tired of the same old stories.

At least he got his revenge

Great writing and story! The almost perfect crime!

Great story, he was a good bloke with morals, he didn't deserve to be caught, he only rid the world of two horrible cheating humans.

Why did I think he should have gotten away with the murder, it would have made a better story.

A very good story. Love it. AAAAAA++++++

Helen1899 - a good bloke with morals? He's murdered three people, one of whom had done him no harm, and stolen thousands.

You've got a funny moral code

This one made me smile, he just needed to take care of a couple of loose ends and he would have been home free. Like some others, I think Ben should have been told why he had to die before killing him. But then it just a story and a good one. Thanks

So stupid

No double jeopardy?

Not much intrigue but I still liked most of it.

Murdering SOB got nailed. He rode the Hoot Owl trail and tasted the fruits of evil. But justice caught up with him and demanded payment.

To allyliterally. Since he was not tried and a verdict handed down double jeopardy was not a factor.

It's been a while since I first read this story but I thought I'd read it again to see if Dan got away with it this time, lol.

What did he do wrong? The blond in the Corvette was a cheating bitch too.