All Comments on 'A Tale of Two Sisters Ch. 04'

Now that you've finished this last chapter I need to clarify something I feared might have happened. You'll recall in the opening of chapter one I said Just Plain Bob had submitted a story, but he had refused voting until the last part went on line. I said I wouldn't do that, but I did advise people not to make judgments until they were confident with regard to their thoughts. Well some people wrote comments after chapter three where they did make a leap based on the incomplete.

Let me clarify this now before you go on. This story has four parts; there is first (1) Gary's discovery of his wife's misdeed., second (2) his exposure of her infidelity, third (3) his confusion with regard to what direction his life might take, and fourth (4) how he makes his decision and resolves to achieve his purpose.

I got the feeling after reading some of the chapter three comments a few people made a modest leap in judgment. These little leaps in logic are a commonplace in life. Consider this scenario and it's obvious mal-alignment. Germany escalated World War Two when on May 10, 1940 they invaded France. On May 10, 1940 Winston Churchill was selected to succeed Neville Chamberlain as Prime Minister of England. Germany invaded France because they knew France's ally was about to select Churchill to be Prime Minister. That makes no sense, but to some people it might be the basis for a snap decision. More recently I was watching an American cable news service wherein a commentator asserted 'Lincoln was elected President in November 1860, the American Civil War began in April 1861, Lincoln was the cause of the Civil War.' Our commentator was an intelligent man, but somewhere he overlooked three quarters of a century of debate, compromise, threats, counter-threats, and gradual dissolution.

We all do this. Wasn't it Mark Twain, America's greatest writer, who commented on the bifurcated schizophrenic nature of the American character. I think he said something like, "You say I contradict myself. Yes I do contradict myself. I am big. I am a continent. I contradict myself." We all make contradictory choices.

Think of poor Gary; isn't he in precisely that kind of circumstance? Let's not rush to judgment about the guy; he's confused, in love, and he's being manipulated by some very capable women-hence the apple at the end.

That was a roller coaster of a ride.. Thanks for taking us on a hell of a trip

I found it hard to wait for the serial to continue - waiting was never a virtue I was blessed with - but thank you for making the wait (short as it was!) worthwhile.

I would have voted it five stars but unfortunately for some reason the star system on my computer is not accepting my keystrokes, sorry.

Dick

I believe that writers are artists or sculptors who use words as their paint or clay. I have enjoyed your work of fiction, and BECAUSE you are so skilled you are going to probably going receive some emotionally negative responses. The apple was a nice touch. I visualized her sashaying back into that room all sexy, apple in one hand, grin on her face, then plopping back down on his lap. He had been had (in a good way) and he was the last one to know. What are we going to read now that there is no chapter 5? I have an idea. Mr. C, it has been a whole year since you left Victor hangin on that island, and his questionably unstable not so loving wife knee deep in self imposed depression locked up in some mental hospital. Could you pleeease FTDS. Thank You for what you have written in the past, and for what you will create for yourself and all of your followers in the future. CorvetteJohn in RainySeattle

Interesting that you added the inter-racial relationship to this story. It seems timely given all the inter-racial relationships in the media. Black men have been conditioned by our society, just like white men to believe that white women are the "prize" or "trophy". You see it in every movie and every ad on TV. It is ingrained institutionalized racism. This racism is not just on the part of white people, these black men are racists too. They seek out white women because they actually believe that a WHITE woman is superior to a black woman. Even worse, because they themselves are black, they also view themselves as less than white! It is a sick and twisted situation. What of the the women involved? Well, the only color they care about is green! Trophy wives have been selling their asses to the highest bidder since the beginning of time. Often the men that buy them are lower in class, appearance, or from a minority religion. Now, black men with money are the new green.

... Sort of hate stories about women's manipulation of men but will readily admit that they don't lack for realism.

... Is anybody else having trouble rating submissions or is it just my computer?

... Found the problem, Firefox.

Overall just a fun, unbelieveable story. It's a novel approach to this tangled web.

Thanks

After 5* worthy in all the other chapters 1* in the last. Mz V manipulated everything and everyone right from the get go. Hell she even celebrated Yvonne's cheating ways. She deliberately, knowingly and cunningly destroyed a few people all so that she could get her man? Hell no. A really good story but V destroyed my faith in her. The end does NOT justify the means....

i thought it was a very good story and sometimes anyone has to be devious to get what we want

you know now she is a liar, and deceiver, using people for her own purposes with not regard for their lives. Is this really someone you want to be with?

I was wondering where you were going with Morgan...also interesting twist where Virna fesses up to messing with Marty and Allen...seems like Marty would really be pissed about that. Another great story. I look forward to more creative stuff.

So thanks for saving me from reading what was likely a bunch of shit.

Virna is nothing but a scumbag who Gary should have run from once he learned the truth. She was prepared to destroy at least two marriages, one of them being her sisters to get what she wanted. The sad thing is this is not the worst thing about this story.

If Virna's plan all along was to get Gary why the fuck did she treat him like shit for so long after his divorce and go out of her way to try and drive him away? Her insane and over the top level of playing hard to get is just to big a plothole.

she encouraged martys and allen, but marty decided to do it, repeatedly.

sure she schemed, but frankly, that sort of defines womankind doesnt it?

Any woman that have her way most of the time just doesnt care or is sort of dumb.

I felt myself being drawn in to the characters like i really cared what happened. I think it was really good, love isnt always what it looks like in the movies. Sometimes it is crazy, dirty and misleading. the heart wants what the heart wants and it is rarely pretty. good job. btw this is this first story i have ever commented on.

When I am screaming gender specific profanity at my computer around page three, obviously you have emotionally engaged me.

However, I saw no contradiction. He cried in the beginning of the story. He cried in the middle of the story. He cried at the end of the story.

But he also got his dick wet and that is all he really needed to care about. So I am happy for him.

The story was pretty good (a 4.5) till Ch.#3, and Ch.#4 spoiled everything, hence not rating it. Though overall I liked that Virna was in love with him and dangled the "temptation apple" in front of Marty enabling her to cheat with Allen, so that she (Virna) could get Gary back... let's see the Ch#4 events and characters:

1. Virna keeps abusing Gary both before/after his divorce with occasional bipolar hot/cold behavior...when he himself is just getting out of a betrayed marriage - no emotional support when he needs most

2. Virna loves Gary but still abuses him... half-explained away by the dog story... don't know why the dog should be shot and killed - why not a lethal injection with a vet... atleast the death will be peaceful... this didn't add anything to the story other than adding "we hurt who we love the most" angle. Could have got the same with lot less rambling.

3. Gary the 22+ years old to-be-divorced respectable handsome up-and-up guy borrows $10K from his foster parents/sister to ..... date and pursue Virna... I thought even 16 year olds date with their own money....

4. Virna is in touch with Gary's family and enables them to lend him money ($10K) so that she can play "hard to get" while he is chasing her and spending money on her/Tammy.

5. Good Catholic girl Virna (the so called mature one after a failed "relationship" and a single parent) cavorts with another guy in flimsy revealing dresses and gets felt up everywhere ... because... she wants Gary to be jealous when she knows he is pursuing her day in and day out...

6. Virna's dating and revealing dressing for the doctor is a great role-model for her precocious daughter.... while the man she loves and who is pursuing her baby-sits for her.

and so on and on and on......

Carvohi has tried to portray Gary as the unassuming but nice guy, Virna as the mature innocent virginal elder sister and Marty as the immature self indulging younger sister/ex-wife.

At the end it is Virna who comes across as immature, manipulative (not for killing Marty's marriage or enabling the affair, but for ill-treating Gary).

Marty is the only character that comes across with any credit because she is true to her character, and the story would have been a real 5 if it stopped after Ch#3.

Ch#4 is very sloppy with bad editing (the plot, not the language), mismanaged plot and ruined what was otherwise a very good story that I enjoyed till Ch#3..

They will apparently 5* anything he post no matter how nonsensical. This guy is stuck married to a manipulative abusive woman from a fucked up family and to them that is good result. Sad.

love the whole story

As some other poster pointed out, this is an erotic FICTION and FANTASY site. Suspension of disbelief is required...These are fictional characters and as such have no requirement to behave in alignment with any vestige of reality or anyone's expectation or desire. They and the story are the product of the writer's imagination, which may flow in any direction possible. We can argue about the technical aspects of the writing, but the storyline belongs solely to the author. In this case...I liked it - and that evaluation also belongs solely to me. Now, let the flagellation begin...LOL

You lost me with the animal abuse in the first paragraph. I wouldn't read another word after that because I refuse to root for a character who is capable of that....even as a kid. You know that is how serial killers get their start is by abusing animals. FUCK GARY and maybe the author too for even bringing that into a story!!!

I see her more as a chess player who simply stayed three moves ahead of everybody else except probably her mom and her daughter. She didn't make her sister cheat - she just kept maneuvering ahead of her. Excellent story. Therefore I disagree with many of the other comments.

Some unpleasant actions by the characters but, well, life's like that sometimes. And without them there wouldn't be a story.

Thoroughly enjoyed this story. Kept me intrigued from start to finish. Appropriate ending.

Carvohi,

I like how you tell a story. You don't telegraph much. I mean, I didn't really realize that Virna was the object d'amour until the last couple of chapters. It's rare that a story is solid from start to finish; this one was.

I look forward to your stories. There's solid writing: good plot and character development and always an element of eroticism.

I gave this one a 5 because I like Virna and Tammy.

"Being stupid doesn't mean your dumb."

Such an ironic spelling error.

Let's see, I liked Tammy and his parents... That is all. I thought it well constructed and who cares if the protagonist is a chump?

End to an Excellent story. got give it to Virna she got everyone involved. the in-laws her Family & Dr. Too Bad For You.

This turned out better than expected. I was about to chuck it what with all the emotional shit. I've read the authors other submissions and enjoyed them but was really beginning to wonder about this tale. Good read, good author. Cheers!

its mindless irrational factually wrong incoherent bullshit. says a lot about the author

I get a kick out of angry commenters who are incensed by a character like Virna, so they rate the story low. You succeeded as only a highly-rated writer can in drawing them in and making them feel strongly from the written word. You should invert their scores. One star means five stars. (Not sure why, but I can't even vote.)

Keep in mind that of course Virna knows of Gary's recent pain... and how badly Marty hurt him. Therefore in order for Virna complicated and deceitful scheme to work she has to somehow or another decide that a another deceitful lying scheme is going to be perfectly OK with him.

We knew they loved Each other yet why all those stupid games. Varna wanted him and he wanted her so the previous chapter they let their love almost come together . Then we get all this bullcrap. Yet he stayed in the game. I just do not get it.

but he spent the last 4 chaps showing that not only is he stupid but he's a fucking moron. Why go thru all this crap to get a damaged bitch. And why all the racist overtones. The only good thing I can say is at least the black guy was a doctor instead of a drug dealer. So my white people seem to think that's our only calling.

Well, I was wrong about the twists. Well, they were there, all right ... BUT ... Sweetie did NOT get knocked up by her Mechanic Bull when Hubby managed to mess up the beginning of the evening, but didn't stop that coupling. Which woulda screwed up the 'Right' couple from getting aligned quickly. Carvohi's story is better than what I could foresee, but then I thought he would pull his OWN twists out and make it excellent.

And I WAS right about THAT part. 5*

An interesting story about some very young people. It seems you had all three of

them make every mistake in the book.

Promiscuous sister . Out- of- wedlock pregnant sister. Dumb man marries wrong

sister. None of them was very sympathetic. Only the daughter Tammy was likable.

And you threw in religious differences , foster child feelings, and a bit of racism.

After this story, I feel like I've gone through the meat grinder, lol.

I just realized this reads like a story by SW MO .... without the multiple wives! ! Ha!!

AMerryMan

There is an old saying, "you can't live with them and you can't live without them." I was hoping he would cut all ties with the Milano Family and got on with his education, life and moved away from them. I would hate to be in his shoes and go from one sister to another sister. I hope he doesn't care what people think about him, because I think he is really pussy-whipped. He got played by one sister and then another sister. I think everyone was in on this from Tammy to all parents. Too bad he got played like a deck of cards.

Great story and great ending ,,, coulda thrown in a sex scene between them tho

Really nice one mate...a little bit if more descriptive sex wud hav spiced things up as well...keep going

So ... Virna does nothing but ridicule and insult him, and not just a little. She then starts dating a doctor, and at one point is screaming at our hero to leave her and her daughter alone, and now we're supposed to believe that she wanted him all along? Okay, if I believe that, then we have to believe her admitting that she has been also manipulating him the whole time as well. I think Virna is one sick puppy, and could have gotten the same result without trying to make Gary suicidal. In the end, I have a hard time empathizing with any of the characters in this story.

Liked the story but Vernas admission that she engineered the distructiion of his marriage leaves me wondering if he is simply being manipulated again. Leaves me unsympathetic to Verna and makes our main character look to accepting of being manipulated.

Varna is probably the best thing for him. He obviously doesn't know what to do with a female, and really has no direction. His idea of seduction is to take a CHILD and an OLD WOMAN to the mall while the woman is DATING MEN.

One assumes this conspiracy of family will pay and watch Virna enough so that she stays reasonably benevolent to his needs. She can pat him on the head and tell him what a good boy he is after he performs sex for her...and since SHE doesn't know what she is doing, his performance won't seem lacking.

So...his FAMILY is going behind his back. Great...no wonder he has no spine. He's being used by everyone.

For the writing and consistency of the storyline, I give it five stars. I didn't love this ending. For one, I still don't get her behavior. Once he came back and started showing considerable interest (that she obviously noticed), why did she continue to see Morgan and treat Gary like crap? I don't get it. It would have made more sense if she was still concerned about hurting her sister. I get that, a bit. But clearly that was not her motive. I was even beginning to think that in a subconscious way she was recreating what had taken place at the Dungeon where she first fell in love with Gary. I was thinking she wanted him to rescue her, just like he did her sister. Nope. She was manipulating him the whole time in order to get him. Just seemed like overkill. Second, is the reader supposed to come away impressed with the great lengths she went to to fight for her Mr. Right? Her behavior was not noble, or honorable. It was despicable. She encouraged another man to seduce her wife's husband. In the process her sister was hurt (perhaps she didn't care about that because she wanted revenge). But Gary was also hurt deeply. Seems like she would have not wanted that if she loved him. And instead of swooping in to soothe him, she treats him like crap and nearly pushes him away. As I said, a bit confusing. Still, five stars.

One of your best and one of the better stories in LW

I don't like her manipulation, I don't like his gullibility, I don't like his racism, . . . I do like Tammy and his relationship with her, I do like Virna's devotion to Tammy and the rest of her family, I do like their love for each other.

I just don't know how this will work long term. How can she not continue to see him as a stupid asshole, and start to disrespect him by deed as well as belief? And how can he not start to disrespect himself?

I don't know . . .

DP

once she set her sights on him, he never stood a chance. this is the most Machiavellian character I have run across in any of the stories I have read on this site. it's a good thing you had her really love him or he would have had a really rough life with her as an enemy. the apple was a nice touch, and was amusing on several levels. thanks for the story, it was great. now, let's talk about "The Dentist" some more. every time I think about how you ended that story, it bothers me like a toothache! please reconsider and write some more chapters for your fans! thanks.

I understand Virna's actions, from the Dungeon onward, even though I don't agree with her. She did, very subtly, allow Gary to chase her until she caught him.

Using Morgan, regardless of race, to make Gary jealous enough and bold enough to finally go after her was mean. It did work, however.

I also agree with others that another chapter or two to wrap up loose ends with Marty, Alan and Yvonne would really give me another evening of good reading.

Her master plan worked! She got the man she loved and a father for her child, now his child also. Great tale of love and confusion. In the end love was all that mattered.

Five Stars for the entire series.

First, thanks for a wonderful story. Next, I was surprised that Virna did all that scheming to get the man she wanted while at the same time he was ignorant and chasing her. I can relate to Gary - basically being clueless but still trying as hard as he could to win his girl. So while the story ended like I hoped it would, I was really surprised Virna did the dating of the Doctor to test Gary and make him jealous. As I see it, she lucked out. I might have given up if I was Gary. That's pretty risky. Again - a terrific story. Having lived inMontgomery County for many years I can relate to the locale. Great job!

Well done, 5 stars.

You didn't burn the bitch and I still gave you five stars! I mean I despised Marty, and then you reminded me just how self-centered and thoughtless I was until the light came on about age 21. So I guess I can cut her some slack, but adultery? That's pushing immaturity into hatefulness. At least he didn't reconcile with her.

But what I liked most was reading about people I could respect and admire. I'd pulled for them all the way, and was reminded? Hell, had my face rubbed in what is important in life! Thanks, for some reason I feel awfully good right now.

You didn't emasculate him,which was nice.

He divorced the younger and married the older and it was her master plan all a long.

Thanks, it was a real fun read,time well spent.

I almost stopped. It didn't make a lot of sense and I was feeling little bit of guilt because I found myself agreeing that he was a stupid, clueless asshole. Call me sentimental but Maggie saved the story, pulled all of those unraveling threads back together and that was that.

For the most part - LOL

His name may or may not have been in the book but if it was it is most probably still there - with maybe a nota bene to keep an eye on him -

But his ability to take it all in as a fatalistic concept is in a pattern with his upbringing -

He is one of the good guys and probably is where he ought to be - good on 'em.

Quality story, told well. Interesting characters that had strengths and weaknesses. A peculiarly likable family.The ease of fooling the protagonist by pretty much anyone who tried was a bit disconcerting but he ended up on top. Nice one.

All I can say is this story had it all. I'm still reeling over this. A sign of a good story is that you remember the characters, and I'll be thinking about these people for awhile. I don't know if I could have put up with Virna's games as long as he did. When she put on that little display with the rich doctor, I think I would have called it a game and walked away. Thank You for writing a fine story.

And in the end he substituted one lying manipulative sister for the other.

He was dumber than a dog turd not to walk out on Virna after her late disclosure.

I found Tammy the only likeable character. The rest of them deserve whatever pain they choose to inflict on each other.

I know the auther is in charge of the happily-ever-afters, but I read the final outcome as being as stable as a two-legged bar stool. Karma wil bite them in the bum.

I really love this story. identify your target, track it, make her yours. LOVED it

Didn't see that coming but then again I'm a guy. He's screwed. He'll never have a say in anything for the rest of his life but I have a feeling he'll die happy with all his kids, grand kids and great grand kids around him when he goes. Nice story, wish I could stay with em down on the farm a while longer. At least until crab season. Thank you

I really enjoyed this story,,nice work

Frankly, knowing guys like the doctor I’m surprised he hadn’t dumped her yet, since he wasn't not getting any!

I don’t quite understand why things were so difficult. Virna knew she didn’t love the doctor and did love Gary, and was just fighting it. Sooner or later she had to accept it!

why Gary went to so much trouble to get Virna. I mean he told her how felt and that should have been enough, instead he spent so much money to try and woo her that he had to get a loan from his parents, all the while she was flaunting another man in his face. Personally i would have cut my losses as well as warned my brother he was getting involved with a slut. Good story but i gave it a 2 bc Gary was stupid-- though to be fair you did warn us.

overall. you quit mentioning Dominic, but I understand he wasn't that germane to the story plot. I kind of expected this type of ending. nicely done.

I evaluate stories on how entertaing they are and how much enjoyment I derive from reading them. Combined the four chapters of this story warrent a five.

Dear cavorhi,

Entertaining and yet very frusturating story. No one ever wins in these cheating situations, but I think you may have made the first main character that has ever been the winner and the loser at the same time! =-) I mean that in a good way. To have found out at the end of this story that the woman he was meant to love schemed him out of his own marriage by supporting and planting the seeds of one of the worst heartbreaks he will ever feel? That just... Well... Really takes the cake! All said and done I had a lot of fun reading this story which made me feel like I was playing bumper cars in a demolition derby. A lot of jolts and jars and a bit achy afterwards. Good story.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

Pretty pathetic ending. One scheming, faithless bitch turns the other into a scheming, faithless bitch. And our hero likes it that way. Just YUCK!

Including the "murderer's" confession. It was fun to observe the "hero" digging himself into a hole - he just could not stop digging! I really hosed carvohi the other day for another story that I disliked intensely. But this story certainly was entertaining.

You can write... there's no doubt of that... but in every one of your stories you have trouble crafting your situations without having your characters act in implausible fashions... and your commet... "I've never thought of myself as a racist"... yes... you are... and it's a shame... because it filters through your writing that you're probably otherwise a good guy... I'm sorry.... the majority of your stories reveal your leanings tho you try to soft sell them... again... it's a shame... and I know that it probably means nothing to you... but I don't think I'll be reading any more of your stories... peace out...

You say I'm a racist, and you won't read anything else I write. Maybe I am a racist, but few people are really free of the disease. But you say it as an anon; tell me how I can influence you to at least keep reading?

Enjoyed, but when she said not till I have a ring. I would have said after what you put me through we are going to make love now or I am leaving.

You may be right, but I'll add, as a man with a wife, a sister, and four daughters they come at you like a machine gun. In the end any man who wants his French toast warm, his bed sheets pulled down, and his household quiet will agree to almost anything. Me, I just shrug it off and thank God we've got no addicts, had no accidents, everybody's working or still in school, and everybody's healthy.

Jedd Clampett

This is disgusting.

The way he's been led around and manipulated by this family, just for their own sake, is absolutely disgusting.

I enjoyed the tale. The whole story. Thing is, it had a serious resemblance to real life. Yeah, he got abused......oh well. Virna had his number from way back. Excellent.

Who the heck is Clell?

It must be some kind of typo, it was written as if it was a previously introduced character that Marty started dating, and I can't think of anyone spelled even close to that.

"dad i need 10 grand"....."Why son?"..... "Im in love with a woman and I need the money to win her and her daughter over".

Really liked it but hated the part where Virna let that shithead she didn't love, touch her all over and maul her right in front of him.

That would have been a sticking point for me and she would at least have gotten a good spanking from me!😁

It was time to cut bait and leave. See how she enjoys her planning and scheming then. Everyone was an ass to him. He should have told her goodbye when she let on that everyone was in on her little game. Totally fucked up, but hey it's fiction after all.

OK so I'm probably channeling some of my own shit but it was so pissed at the end I almost threw my phone! Maybe I read it wrong but the whole dating the doctor thing sounded like it was just . . . what? manipulation? a ploy? Having her take him to Thanksgiving was one thing but after the divorce? She meant to be with stupid asshole all along but teased him by dating the doc anyway?!? Fuck her!! That's just cruel and unnecessary and if she's playing him like that before they marry . . . Nope, I'd a walked out. Fuck that shit.

You are a racist pile of sorry cum eating shit.

Don't know why anonymous get so bent out of shape? Just read the story and enjoy the ride! I really like your writing style and your imagination. Thanks again and keep on keeping on!

The supposed "good" girl shattered a marriage so she could claim him. And he's enough of a pussy after all to go along with it ? What happens when she decides she wants someone else ? She's already shown that deceit and manipulation are her stock in trade.

It's like the frog and the scorpion all over again.

I guess Virna wanted a "man" she could control, a "man" who would be subservient to her. She tells him to strip and he just drops trou and stands there like an idiot while she toys with him - then tells him to put his clothes back on and get out. She helped jack up his marriage, she's partly responsible for having to suffer through all the pain and agony of having someone he loved cheat on him. Set up the whole doctor dating shenanigans to make him jealous? So apparently her family, including his ex-wife, was part of the plan? Virna treated him like crap for years and all he can think about is how happy he finally is! Virna essentially told him that there's NOTHING she wouldn't do to get what she wants. No limits, no boundaries, nothing is sacred. And he's celebrating. Wow. A completely submissive obtuse pansy, this guy.

Well, if he's happy then so be it. It's none of my business. I guess that old adage is true; for every wimp, there is a woman. Or something like that...

The writing was done well, enjoyed the story until the end where she started admitting that they've all been screwing with his head from the beginning. 4 stars. Maybe if Carvohi ever writes a story where the "man" is actually a man, one that can say NO to a woman, one that can stand up for his rights, one where he doesn't spend his free time weeping and getting pushed around, maybe then he'll get 5 stars.

I know it's very popular right now for the man to be more effeminate, to let the woman take on the man's role. We see it in almost every sitcom and commercial; the man is a bumbling fool, not very bright, but the wife, the very sarcastic wife, is long-suffering and loves him in spite of all his faults - which are many - so she tolerates him and displays a certain fondness for him, much like one would a big dog that knocks things over when he wags his tail. How politically correct.

You know, it's actually quite common for a man and wife to be married and be equals. It is in my marriage and I know of many, many others who demonstrate the same. Men are better at some things while women are better at others. It's a fact, a law of nature. Pretending as if a woman is superior to a man doesn't make it so - and vice versa. A loving husband and wife will complement one another; their strengths and weaknesses will cancel each other out - the two become one. I'll get off my soapbox now.

It was hard to accept the hero's racist comments

The below comments are spot on, this is an annoying story about a submissive little man and a couple of horrible and manipulative women. Plus the racism. Not to mention it is terminally slow and boring.

But yet the high score made me want to try it. I guess I'll know better for next time

Too manipulative

White guy says anything negative or contradictory to or about a black guy and he is a racist.

Black guy does same thing and no comments are made about his racist remarks.

Sorry folks racism is not unique to white race.

Sharpton Jesse Jackson Louis Farakan have become wealthy and politically powerful spewing hatred of whites and fomenting racism.

You are correct. The doctor was a racist.

Not sure why you are accept about that.

Hollywood and liberal media subliminally indoctrinate us all the time with their racism.

Count the number of times black male is coupled with white female...then try to find ecamples of white male black female.

The disparity in those numbers confirms anti-white male racism.

White America is much more accepting of bi-racial couples than black America

It'll be nice if she stays loving and loyal, but she'll never respect this dumb shit. And if she fucks him over he'll never find out about it, until she's ready.

What a waste of time this story is.

Suddenly she becomes all assertive and decisive and sets out the future in stone. It felt like you where in a hurry to wrap it up; this jarred me out of enjoying the ending, which started off very well.

I'm a humanist; concerned with getting the best out of people. To that end, I'd have him take the unusual step of meeting with the doctor, mana-a-mano, and tipped him off not to treat his next lady like a trophy. That way, with luck, two people would benefit; the doctor and his next lady. This would have been at least a bit of something different in the ending.

And specifically enjoyed, " Was I glad I had an innie." Thanks.

After the "om gowa" comment i was done... And just skimmed the rest... Won't be reading anything else by you... Good luck in your future endeavors... Peace out...

-jaye-

Why does she hand him an apple?

By far, one of the best series on this site

Fabulous series. The characters really came to life. Every one of them is flawed in some way, and the personalities are consistent, yet unpredictable. You also did a great job covering the culture in an Italian household, the expectations, and the emotional nature of their interactions. Outstanding series.

I am a tough old man who has been everywhere and done everything. I have significant scars most everywhere inside and out. I’ve been called an insensitive bastard ever since I could grow a beard. But this tale brought happy tears to my eyes.

Thanks Carvohi for the really good free read.

I've read most of the comments about this series & quite honestly I just can't believe that most people seem to really enjoy it. I have read many of your other publications on LW & was quite disappointed that this scored so highly. Still that's only my opinion, I felt like it was at times written by a teenager. 3 ***

As much as I enjoyed the characterizations, I didn't like the "insider" race baiting, some of which was little more than the doctor's calling Gary by other names, but some was truly ugly. I like the marriage outcome but dislike the involvement of so many in the extreme amount of painful (betrayal of Gary and what he felt about his feelings for his wife and marriage) manipulation. I would welcome someone's reworking the ending. When he proposed, sort of, on the stairs, Gary said that he'd never boss Virna around; after he found out about the manipulation done by so many and especially about her encouraging Marty's affair with Allen, I wanted him to add a comment to her that he would never accept such manipulation from her and hers, not boss her but not each shit either, also that she had one child and it wasn't him, so either she stop shushing and talking over him or take a course in basic manners so he didn't have to tape her mouth just so he could express himself freely in a conversation.

There are party books that are broken down into many separate sections with phrases that you can shuffle and come up with absurd sentences and paragraphs. They are far more sensible, logical, and insightful into human character than this.