A Tale of Two...Titties?

"But Rick," I whined.

"At first when I noticed it three weeks ago, I thought that you'd maybe changed your mind and decided that maybe we should wait awhile longer. As much as I wanted us to start our family, it's your body. I figured that you'd say something sooner or later. But this game you're playing is just hurtful Lucie." He put his clothes on and left. I started crying as soon as he walked out. I heard the sound of his car start up and drive away. It was as if God had reached into my chest and pulled my heart out.

I began then to realize what I'd started and even though I had never intended for it to go as far as it did, I had put my marriage in jeopardy. I also realized what a fool I'd been. The sex I'd had with Bart had been nowhere near as good as what I got every night from Rick. Bart and the others treated me like an object. Even when Bart was fucking me, all he cared about was getting himself off.

And when he was done, he'd acted like and actually said that it wasn't very good. All those guys cared about was their own dicks. Not one of them even knew me. When they looked at me they never saw ME. All they saw was two titties. Once they got their hands on them or their dicks in me, I didn't matter anymore.

For my whole life all I'd ever wanted was to have someone who loved me as much as Rick does. I wanted us to have a family and a nice house. That was all I wanted. When Rick asked me about getting pregnant six weeks ago, I'd been overjoyed. But I think that on some level I knew that Bart or one of those guys might fuck me and I wanted to make sure that I didn't get pregnant. I also had to admit that on some level maybe I'd been expecting or even wanting it to happen. I knew it sounded bad but maybe just once or twice in my life I wanted to have that same power over men that most women had gotten used to during their teenaged years. What I didn't want was to sacrifice my marriage and my happiness for what amounted to a stupid fling. It wasn't even a fling there were no emotions involved on either side. It was only sex.

I know it sounded stupid even when I thought about it. Only sex...I thought of it as if it meant nothing...it was less than nothing in fact. At least to me it was less than nothing. I could care less if I ever saw Bart again. But in a very real way, I'd made the most important decision in my life because that less than nothing little incident in the supply room could end my marriage to a man that I adored.

At that moment Rick didn't know anything, I was sure of it. I had to do something to fix it. When Rick came home it had gotten dark and I was watching TV.

"I made your favorites," I said as he closed the door. "I'll warm up a plate for you."

"I had Burger King," he said quietly. I could tell that something was still wrong with us.

"Rick, can we talk?" I asked. He just sat down and looked at me.

"I love you," I began. He rolled his eyes as if he didn't believe a word I was saying. That made me want to cry even more but I knew I had to keep it together.

"Rick, I guess I was just not sure at first about having a baby, but..." he cut me off before I could finish my thought.

"Lucie, you were the one who brought it up," he said. "I'd never try to force you into anything and you know that. But don't worry about it. It's over now." He stood up and got ready to leave the room.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What does it's over now mean. Do you mean the misunderstanding is over?" He nodded his head and walked away.

We didn't have sex of any kind that night. He barely touched me and I needed him to. I needed him more than ever and for a lot of reasons. The first was probably that after being used and then insulted by Bart, I really needed to know that someone loved me. I needed to know that I was special for something other than the tits. I also needed to know that the argument we were having was over and he'd forgiven me. But I was also feeling guilty as hell. There was the added problem that I really did want to have a baby with him more than anything. I'd been just trying to be safe. But I was never going to cheat again. My mom had been bugging me for months about grandkids. That had been part of why I'd started the whole baby discussion. I really wanted to see a small mixture of Rick and me running around our house.

So when we got into bed and he pulled the covers over himself and tried to go to sleep I looked at him strangely. "Are you tired or just playing hard to get?" I asked. He just shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes. I wasn't about to let him off that easily.

"Rick, you and I have something to do," I said pulling the covers from his body. He just looked at me and then went to the closet. He pulled a bag out of his jacket pocket and started to open a new pack of condoms. Fear gripped my heart. I started to wonder exactly how much he knew.

"I thought we were trying for a baby," I said. "We can't get pregnant using condoms unless there's an accident."

"We can't get pregnant until you've been off the pill for more than one night either," he snapped. "But I'm not sure I'm ready for a family any more. Maybe it's not the right time after all. Maybe we should just..."

"Maybe we should just what?" I asked. I was pissed now. He didn't say anything for a few moments.

"Maybe we should just take some time and figure out what we both want," he said. His implication was that we didn't want the same things anymore so maybe we didn't belong together anymore.

"Rick, don't you want to have a baby with me?" I asked point blank.

"Six weeks ago it was the thing I wanted more than anything in the world," he said. "But finding those pills made me think about a lot of things. Maybe we're not ready. Maybe we should..." He hesitated. "One night without having sex won't kill us," he said and rolled back over. I was more hurt than I'd ever been in my life.

Rick and I usually did something sexual most nights. It wasn't always full on intercourse. Sometimes we just massaged and rubbed each other. Some nights were oral only, but we never went more than a night or two without me having him inside of me. I knew it wouldn't last for very long but it hurt me just the same. I think what made it the most notable was that even when we were angry at each other we always ended up spooned against each other. It was our bodies' way of telling each other that although we were angry at each other, we still belonged together.

Not that night. He moved over as far away from me as he could and every time I rolled towards him he moved further away until he fell out of the bed and then just muttered, "Bathroom." He got off the floor and left the room. I'd thought that he was heading for the bathroom but he never came back.

When I awoke in the morning he was asleep on the couch. It was the first time since we'd been married that we hadn't slept together except for the one night while I was in the hospital following my surgery. It was the loneliest night of my life. As I prepared for work he didn't get up so I woke him.

"Rick, why didn't you come to bed last night?" I asked.

"There didn't seem to be enough room," he said. I wanted to cry.

"So are we going to Seven Eleven?" I asked. "I'm buying."

"I think I'll pass," he said.

"I love you Rick," I said. "No matter what else happens or whatever misunderstandings we have, always remember that." Then I left so he wouldn't see my tears. The only thing that kept running through my brain was the fact that if my marriage did end it was my own fault. I loved Rick more than anything and I'd taken him for granted. I had simply assumed that I'd never get caught and that if I did it wouldn't be a big deal. I knew lots of couples where one partner had an affair and they stayed together.

I realized during that drive that staying together might not even be the problem. My relationship with Rick had always been very strong. We had never actually argued. We'd had little tiffs from time to time but nothing ever like this and he didn't even know what I'd done yet. My marriage was on life support because I'd been too stupid to hide my birth control pills. No, that wasn't right, my marriage was in trouble because I needed to go out and show men other than my husband, my new titties.

I was sure that we'd have a rough patch but that we'd get over it. I said it took three blows to fuck up my life. When I got to work I got the second. My boss called me into his office. I'd never been in his office before. I'd never been in trouble.

My boss was the kindest easiest going man I'd ever known. An example of that was the fact that on the previous day when he'd walked in and seen Bart fucking me, he'd backed out and closed the door and had never mentioned it.

As I walked into his office he was going over some papers. "Close the door Lucie," he said quietly.

As soon as I closed the door I had a feeling of dread. The only time his door was closed was if the owners came in or if someone was getting fired or written up.

He looked up from his papers and looked at me. I knew that I was in trouble. "Lucie, yesterday," he began. "I was checking the second floor supply and found it was occupied." I nodded my head.

"Two people who were married to other people were using the room for sex," he continued. "My first thought was that I was embarrassed. Then I got angry because both of you should know better. I thought about firing both of you and putting it in your permanent records so future employers would see it if they asked for your employment records or called to ask about your time with us. Your spouses would also see the information if they tried to find out why you were terminated." I was in shock, my nightmare was coming true.

"Then I thought about it more and I had a WWJD moment," he said. "What would Jesus do? I decided to live and let live. After all you were both consenting adults, right?" I nodded.

"Bart didn't force you into the room, right," he said. I shook my head. "I need you to say it," he said indicating a small tape recorder.

"Why are you taping this?" I asked.

"Just in case you decide to try to sue us for sexual harassment against Bart later," he said. "I'm thinking about not firing you."

"Not firing me would be good," I smiled. I then did something that I would never have done in the old days. I leaned forward so my breasts showed more. I was sure he could see them almost entirely.

"That brings me to the decision making process," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, Bart is a hell of a salesman," he said. "I need his numbers to keep our sales up. That's why I'm not firing him. Why should I not fire you?"

I was shocked. I was a clerk. Clerks are a dime a dozen. Shit, clerks are a nickel a gross. "I might be tempted to keep you around if you were to give me some of what Bart got," he said.

"Mr. Stevens, I'm sorry but I'm not going to ever do that again," I said. "Yesterday was the first time that I ever did that and it was the last. So if you need to fire me, go ahead."

"That isn't what I've heard," he snapped. "I've heard that half of my male staffers have played with your new breasts." I noticed that the recorder was off then.

"That is true," I said. "But Bart was the only one that things got out of hand with. Once yesterday happened, I realized that I was out of control so I made the decision to stop. I never should have started in the first place. I love my husband Mr. Stevens. I'd never do anything to hurt him. I just never considered it before yesterday."

"So you quit before I got my turn. That isn't fair," he whined. "I didn't want to have sex with you. Who knows what you have down there. Bart has slept with so many women I wouldn't want to stick any part of my anatomy into you. I just wanted my chance at those titties too. I guess I'll tell you later what my decision is."

"So that's what Jesus would do?" I asked.

"Oh hell yes," he said quickly. "Jesus, while here on earth was a MAN. He'd be after them titties too."

Again I noticed that he didn't want to fuck me. He thought that I was some diseased slut. He just wanted to play with my tits too. My husband seemed to be the only man I knew who wasn't mesmerized by them. It was ironic that the man who'd paid for them, the man I'd always imagined playing with them, the man I'd gotten them for, the man they belonged to, was the only man who didn't seem to want them.

As I walked slowly back to my desk I was torn. On one hand, I was personally proud of myself for turning him down. I'd stood up for my beliefs. On the other hand, if I got fired, Rick would find out and I might lose him. If you added this to our baby drama, my marriage might be over. I was still reeling from him bringing out the condoms the night before. I wondered exactly what he knew. Then saying he didn't want us to start a family, possibly not ever, really hurt. Because I got the idea that what he'd been hinting at was that maybe he didn't want to have a family with me.

I was thinking about it so hard that I couldn't get any work done. So, just before lunch when everyone else got up to go to lunch, I trudged my way back to Mr. Stevens' office. He looked up when I walked in and closed the door.

"I'll do it," I said sadly. "But only once." He started smiling and I walked over and sat down on his desk in front of him. He opened my blouse and just stared at my bra covered boobs. "Take off the blouse slut," he gushed. "Bend forward and shake those titties like a stripper." I did what he asked.

"Lose the bra," he said. Then he started mauling my breasts so hard that it hurt. I'd misjudged the little man. He grabbed one of my breasts and twisted it painfully then started licking and sucking my nipple. That same nipple popped out, not from arousal but from pain and stimulation.

"Damn those titties are big." he gushed just as the door opened. Everything from then on happened in slow motion.

Rick walked in carrying a big bouquet of flowers. "Lucie, I felt bad..." his voice trailed off and he looked at me and Stevens who was still squeezing the life out of my tit.

"I'd come to take you out to lunch to make up for the way we left things this morning," he said to me. Then he looked at Stevens who was so shocked that he was still holding my breast.

"I guess when you woke up this morning you never thought that by the end of the day you'd be fired, disgraced, divorced, have your ass beaten and have another mouth to feed, did you?" he asked.

"Oh please, no," said Stevens. "It's all her fault. I'm a good man. I go to church. I have a wife and kids."

"You can let go of her breast, now" said Rick calmly. He walked up to Stevens very slowly. He didn't even look at me.

Suddenly, he switched from slow and careful movements to full fury. His fist rocketed into Steven jaw so fast and so hard that Stevens was lifted off of his feet.

He landed in a heap and cowered away from Rick. I tried to grab Rick to keep him from hitting him again.

"If you know what's good for you Lucie, don't touch me," he said. "You should probably put your clothes on and try to beat me home so you'll have time to pack your stuff."

"It's not like we had sex or anything," whined Stevens. "I just felt on those titties. She's been parading around here showing them off to every man in the building for weeks. It's Bart you should be angry with. I never would have done this if I hadn't caught him fucking her yesterday. He fucked her, I only felt on her."

Rick's neck whipped towards me so fast that it didn't seem humanly possible. He turned back towards Stevens.

"Who is Bart," he began. "Forget it..." he said.

"Then he left," he started to walk out of the office.

"Where are you going?" asked both Stevens and me at the same time.

"I have to find a lawyer," he said. "Maybe I need two; one for the case against your company and the other for my divorce."

Both Stevens and I went into shock as Rick walked away. The flowers he'd bought me were still there on the floor.

"You're fired, bitch," he said to me, holding his jaw that was beginning to swell.

"Who cares," I said. "I have far more serious problems than this piddling fucking Mcjob. Good luck explaining this to your wife and the church."

"Do you think there's some way that you can stop that from happening?" he asked.

"Maybe," I said. "He's really pissed but Rick is nothing if not reasonable. And if there's anything I've ever been able to count on in life it's the fact that my husband loves me."

"Then you're not fired yet," he said. "And I apologize for calling you a bitch." I buttoned up my blouse.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "Aren't you going to work the rest of the day?" I noticed that even then, with his job and marriage hanging in the balance he was trying to look at my boobs.

When I got home, Rick wasn't there yet. I sat down to wait for him. I got a couple of cold beers out of the refrigerator when I heard him pull up.

"Why are you still here, Lucie?" he asked. "I thought I was clear."

"Why do I have to leave?" I asked. "This house belongs to both of us."

"I'm leaving," he said. "I just wanted the house until the weekend so I'd have time to get all of my stuff out. That way I won't ever have to come back. You can live here until the court decides what happens and who gets the house. More than likely we'll end of selling it and splitting the proceeds."

"I don't want to sell our house," I said with the first tears beginning to fall.

"You can always buy me out," he said.

"Rick, neither of us has that kind of money," I said. "And you know that even if you gave me a payment schedule I couldn't swing the mortgage payments and pay you. Plus there'd still be the rest of the bills. We need both of us to make this work."

He shrugged his shoulders. "The last thing I expected to do today was try to arrange my divorce," he said. "Even your fucking boss got more choice in this than I did. He chose to make a move on a married woman. You and he deserve all of the misery you can get. I was blindsided."

I nodded and wiped away my tears. He either didn't notice or didn't care. "Rick, I love you so much. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you..."

"Yeah..." he said. "Anything except decide not to fuck other guys."

"That's not how this happened," I snapped. "Can't we talk about this? After all the time we've been together, I can't believe you just want to bail on me now."

"Lucie, this isn't a case where talking will help," he said. "This is a case where you can talk until you're blue in the face and it's not going to make any difference. I probably won't get much packing done tonight anyway so if you give me your word that I can move my stuff tomorrow, I'll listen."

"I don't want you to just listen to me," I said. "I want us to talk the way we always have."

"That won't work anymore," he said.

"But why?" I asked.

"Because things are different now," he said. "We aren't the same two people. I've been sensing that something was wrong ever since I found out you were still on your pills. I thought that maybe you just didn't want to have kids with me. So I just decided that maybe I didn't want them either. But now at least I know why. So you've got what you always wanted. You're happy. I deserve a chance to be happy too, don't I?"

"What the fuck are you talking about Rick?" I said. "What don't I do to make you happy? What is it that you need that you can't get from me?"

"It's something I just discovered that I need," he said.

"I don't care," I said. "I'll give you anything I can. What is it?"

"A divorce," he said.

"Rick, look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me anymore," I said.

"I can't." he told me. "That's why this is so hard. I'll probably love you forever. But we can't be together anymore."