by DraggingMyLeash
use a rewrite with an editor. Long paragraphs, wrong word usage, and a lot of spelling errors make it jarring to read. And before people bitch, grammar does mean a lot if you want your work to sell. Practice makes perfect, your ideas are hot, your grammar is not.
I loved it! Very beautifully written and easily lured me in. Which is remarkable for the fact that it's hard to keep my attention for long. My eyes were glued to the screen wanting more and only disappointed that it had to end.
It would be the best vampire story I've read, but it's not the best I've read that's for sure. Not to be rude, but I have read better. And I have read much much worse.
I dunno who you are, messa not good at guessing, teacher once asked me to guess what two plus two is, I said nine. >.>
Okay, now you know how i am about vampires. This story was awesome. Can't wait to read your story about human puppy play. A werewolf and a vampire huh? Niceeeeeee.. Now can you guess who left this comment? *giggle*
what a wonderful story....loved the fact that it's a woman as the vampire....excellent....i will be looking for more.
Thanks, I'll try, I have another erotic story I've been thinking about trying to finish, it involves human puppy play, the twist is that the person that is the human puppy is a werewolf, and the Mistress is a Vampire. :P
That's pretty good for your first piece, love the vampire theme. Keep up the good work.