All Comments on 'Across the Room Ch. 01'

Sadly i didnt get past the first paragraph as yet again the 'target' is wearing very short shorts and a tank top. Please use more imagination, it seems to me that half the population of the USA walks round in short shorts and tank tops.!!

I appreciate the constructive criticism, and I'll keep it in mind when I'm writing my next story. However, had you kept reading you would've noticed that I left out a lot of specific details about the so-called "target's" appearance. I was trying to create a generic character so the reader could use his or her imagination to fill in the blanks. So the fact that half the population wears short shorts and tank tops is pretty much exactly what I was going for. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my next one more!

Nice ... I enjoyed it. :) I was so wrapped up in the story that I didn't realize they didn't tell each other their names till the last line. Looking forward to more! ~ L

I really loved this story! I can't wait to find our girls in the bedroom and beyond! Keep up the great work!

Please don't worry about what the other anonymous fool has said. It's in all probability a male anyway!! Funny how they always have negative things to say.

I've been reading your stories and have loved them, so please carry on. This story is short, but it still had the desired orgasmic effect, thank you.

your story is wonderful !

it's typical that there's always at least one negative vocie when we write... and my advice is to focus on the wonderful positives - comments and ratings. This story was well written, imaginative and created great pictures !

Bravo !

Wonderful story

DAMN