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All Comments on 'Afternoon to Forever Ch. 01'
by writerofsex
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- 2 Comments
Anonymousover 12 years agoYou need an editor
You jump around too much, and you have a bunch of typos and grammer issues. Other than that good stuff
Anonymousover 12 years agoA rocket of pleasure?
Wow, then it gets worse. I could not finish it. Sorry
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