All Comments on 'Airport Hypnosis'

I give you kudos for your plot and the theme of your story, regardless of how incredibly shallow the characters were.

Having shared that, I strongly suggest, that if you committed to writing and submitting your stories for public consumption and scrutiny, you, must seek out competent help, by way of an editor, to proof read your stories, providing you help with your grammar, misspelled words and your undisciplined train of thought, in your story line.

The fact, that you, did not catch the obvious blunder, of losing sight, of whether she, was a he, or, if she, was indeed a she, means you either were high when you wrote this, or, you are using a adolescent as your ghost writer, either way, clean it up.

You also, need to give some serious thought, to providing a ton more detail and be more graphic.

If, you, are going to submit your fantasies, then get it right. Presentation/format is everything.

You often referred to Dawn as "he" and made a few grammatical errors. Please re-read your submission, to understand what I mean.