All Comments on 'Alan Ch. 03'

love your ability to tell a story. hope to see more of your wonder style in the future

I love your good written stories, they are very arousing, hope to see more soon. Pussycat 22

So far ...... well done. Thank you for letting me enjoy your work.

its alright..but just get to the point

capturing youth and adults. You've created multi-dimentional characters who one cares about. I feel sorry for the women... quite an accomplishment in a story like this.

Liking this alot, got good well rounded characters... really liked the Kate scene :P also... to Anon the Sex Crazed Maniac... just chill out man, anyone can just write about sex... hell, I could write something that was all pussy tits and ass but it would probably wouldnt even make top million stories on here... if thats all you want just go watch some porn or something... again Julian man good story can't wait to read the other chapters :)

...use his pecker to cause any BIG problems. Taking Kate down a few notches was good, the same goes for that asshole in the bathroom but don't let the story degenerate into "Super Alan", 'righter of wrongs' at the local high school. "The Seed" was meant for better.

if he can control his body, why didn't the old man make himself younger or something? the first day of using his powers Alan made his junk bigger... you telling me a master can't make his cells rejuvenate or something? Bwahahaha he has the force. Angry revenge sex >M< so hot. Lulz they got a maid named Conchita that's awesome. Omfg Alan is so fucking awesome XD. He owned the bully.

Let's just say I've run across a few of Kates in this world, when I meet them now, to think of this chapter makes me smile faintly. That expression pisses them off - if they only knew ....they'd be angrier yet.

While I know that the author will likely never see this, I want to throw my two cents out there. I'm really enjoying this, but the complete morality reversal threw me. "Controlling people is wrong." Less than 24 hours later, "This girl is a bitch, so I'm going to rape and humiliate her." I can accept what he did with the cop, but using his power to rape a girl is just do completely at odds with his prior decision that it breaks the immersion.

You had a great start then blew it! If you want someone other than degenerate scum-sucking bottom dwellers appreciating your work; make your characters admirable instead of despicable. What he did to Kate was rape! Then he beats a bully by being a bigger one? What is your goal; to prove absolute power corrupts absolutely? I'll give it a couple of more chapters to see if you get it back on track; otherwise, I can do better reading something else.

Another very good Chapter, with Alan continuing to show restraint with his powers, even when meting out some well-deserved justice to the bitchy Kate, and the bully Lacrosse Jock. He's got quite a girlfriend, and he is treating her like a lady, albeit a very horny one. I like that.

It turned unrealistic. A character's morals don't change that quickly. He went from using mind control being totally unethical to essentially raping someone via mind control.

He was given powers by the old man because he thinks Alan will use his powers responsibly but ends being corrupted anyway with no signs of remorse

The physical attributes of the fictional and real life women are not dissimilar outside of age. I wonder if the skilled Julian Corto is a Fox News fan ?

Full marks * * * * *

Obviously, you guys have never dealt with a physically larger bully in your life. You can't reason with them, they have no sense of morality or empathy. To change them, or at least change their attitude towards you, if you are a target, you have to better them physically.

When I was young, I was smaller than everyone my age. I was young for my school year, but just small, anyway. There was a physically big neighbor kid, a year or two younger than me, who constantly bullied me and others. Not in real overt ways, as that would get him in trouble, but in small, psychological & physical ways.

One day, it was one step too far for me, and I snapped. He had been physically intimidating me and pushing me around mentally, all morning. I picked up a tree branch about an inch and a half in diameter, and about 3-4 feet long and proceeded to beat the crap out of him. I wasn't more than 9-10, so I wasn't going to do any real damage to a kid who out weighed me by 50# and was 5-6" taller, but he didn't even try to fight back, he curled up in a ball and cried for his mama. The whole time, I was essentially saying the same thing Alan said to the bully in the bathroom.

His younger brother, and older sister were right there, but also being victims of his bullying, neither one raised a hand or voice to stop me. As I recall, the younger brother cheered me on, some. I know some of the younger, other kids, did.

Oh, I got in trouble. My old man whooped my ass a good one. Then told me I did the right thing sticking up to the bully for myself, and all of the other kids.

I later found out a neighbor lady had been watching us for most of the morning, saw the whole thing and told my old man before he heard from the neighbor's dad about his 'abusive maniac kid' with the stick, who could have 'permanently damaged his son', (as if he was a fragile & frail kid). The neighbor lady had watched this kid bully us for some time, but hadn't wanted to interfere, unless things got out of hand. She, (rightly so, in the end), figured us kids would work it out, and be the better for it.

Turns out, it did change the dynamics of the neighborhood. The bully, suddenly became my 'friend', and stuck up for me a number of times when other kids messed with me. He started treating his siblings, and the other neighbor kids better, as well.

And I didn't even need to keep 'the stick' as a reminder, either.

As I get older than the old I am, I look around at a lot of the 'spoiled kids' bullying others in the big neighborhood of our country, and world, and wonder how different things might be, if they had been taken down a notch, and humbled, when they were getting that first surge of testosterone, making them act like assholes.

Might not have changed all of them, as some are just plain sociopaths, but it would have changed a few, for the better.

I see what Alan did to the bully as an overall social good; the thing with Kate, not so sure. It was sex against her will, but he never made her like it, he only made it feel good. She chose to like it. BUT, he did tell her not to tell anyone, which did take away her free will. So, in the end, I hope Alan does have some remorse about it.

He could have taught her a lesson without forcing her to have sex with him. I hope he learns a lesson, himself.

We'll see where things go.

GeoD

bit torn about the kate part.

in general, every (sexual) interaction under mind control is rape.

he could've just "Hate-fuck" her and let her somewhat enjoy it with shame. AND not let her be this quivering mess (also mentally fucked up) like she is now. (is portrayed as)...

otherwise quite hot part.

I didn't like the scene with Kate and I can tell I'm not going to like a lot of future scenes too. Alan has probably the most dangerous power ever, able to change people's minds and he's using it to get out of traffic tickets and force girls into fucking him and becoming his slut. He's even thought about fucking his ex even though he's already gotten together with his 'dream woman' in Megan but hasn't even thought about being 'faithful'. It doesn't seem as though his moral compass is working currently and personally I'm going to have issues so I'll leave this one here.

I’m for revenge but straight up rape is true sign of terrible writer. This is your best imagination? Could have humiliated her in front of everyone or something. Raping her body having her crying is pathetic. Teacher basically rape but he didn’t understand the powers so that can be let go. How about having power but looking into person mind to see if they have some attraction first. Use the power to give her guy she wants so she comes willingly. Just no need for rape scenes.

Kate's hatred seems over the top, not gonna lie. Even when she was being shown the ride of her life she seems very resistant on letting it go. Doesn't seem plausible but whatever. I can't say I disagree entirely with how Alan gave her some payback there; I guess most people would do something that. It's not like he hurt her; he showed her the best fucking time of her life. Honestly she deserved less. I'd leave her saying if she wants it again, start behaving like a decent fucking human being and not some shallow piece of shit.

Of course, I guess you could argue it was rape, since he pushed the thoughts into her mind to compel her to act. That being said, once she was into it, it was clear she wanted it and enjoyed it. I can't say I'd complain if someone "forced" me to do something I ended up really fucking enjoying. But everyone will have their own take on it. It's hard to say what's right and wrong when you start introducing supernatural shit like mindcontrol into the picture. Is there really such a thing as right and wrong or is it just a human concept we enforce on ourselves? Or is it just power and control - those with it and those without? The strong dominating the weak. Makes you think...