All Comments on 'Alan Ch. 17'

The story is getting really good now. Keep it up. Really good plot. The sex is still hot but this could be a novel by itself. Good stuff.

Your development of this storyline is outstanding! You have evolved one of the best plots to date!

Joel

Alan is one forgiving individual. He is kidnapped, tortured, about to be mutilated, and then killed. In the real world, Alan would be one pissed dude! (He would also be greatfull for his escape, that is also true). In addition, his very experienced unseen companion (I refer to his ghost) would be telling Alan to teach his enemies a lesson.

Had I written this chapter, I would have had Alan during his escapte, quickly read the minds of his guards for what little information they would have had. Then Alan would have left one guard unharmed, but tied up so that he could see what happened to the others and report to his boss. Then Alan would have ripped the minds of the other guards, making them insane with no chance of cure. A fate worse then death. This action would have sent a very clear message to the thugs that are chasing him. "If you do not get me, I will get you!"

One other thing: Please get rid of the anal sex. I do not understand what is so many stories at this site have it. What is so good about it? I think it is gross!

I give this chapter a "2".

Lovin this story!

I would love to have it on CD so I could listen to it while I drive!

Keep goin'...let's have our hero kick some ass!

Liked this chapter alot. To the clown who gave a 2, go back and read it again. Alan was still to weak to retaleate. I'm sure he will get his revenge in the near future.

Great story, but it needs a little more sex, but other than that keep the chapters coming!!!

Thanks for adding plot and decreasing sex...

Excellent storyline...very cloak-and-dagger, Alan is handling this really well...should help him mature who lot and effectively, with Jack's help. Very good turn to this, ready for more.

And, do not care what others say, sex DOES count for something with me!!

Five**5**Stars!!🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

A nice healthy dose of plot between the sex. Mind you all the encounters don't seem to build to anything lasting. Look at Megan, for example. Sure she's pregnant with his kid but she's basically living with a woman now and they're together and he doesn't see her much. Pauline? Didn't last, agreeing to both go their separate ways. Kate? Alright she's still hanging on but it's not the same as it once was and he's pushed her to be into lesbianism now. The rest were pretty much one-and-done. Is there going to be anything more than casual encounters?