Alex Ch. 03

"No, and in all honesty I don't think it is something I would like. If this relationship is to continue, am I to understand that there will be other women that you are going to be sexually involved with?" I said it, and I was so ready to leave at that very moment. Not only was I not going to grovel on my hands and knees, I still was not convinced. But I sure as hell was not going to become his plaything. What would make him think that I was even the least bit interested in this type of behavior?

"No, I firmly believe in monogamous relationships. But I got a sense that beneath that strong-willed, self-reliant exterior there is a submissive lady dying to be freed. Maybe I was wrong. In any case, I will not force anything on you. I deeply care for and respect you. If you still feel uncomfortable, I can offer your intellect a few good books on the subject to read." His whole conversation with me had been in a strong but caring tone that reeked of total control.

"I didn't want to scare you off, which is why I have not said anything up to now, when you asked me. I would be thrilled if, in the course of your healing, you would let me introduce to some of the more pleasurable aspects of BDSM."

"All I can picture is you, all dressed in leather, trying to whip me into submission, with a leather mask over your face. All the while, I am bound and gagged to a menacing-looking contraption that is used to help you break my will. I thought you were a member of the Natural Horsemanship crowd that trained a horse to accept the human as the herd leader without force or trauma. Was I wrong?"

"Actually the two are very similar. And yes I believe in training a horse without breaking his or her spirit. As with any creature, if taught by fear and force, a trusting relationship cannot and never will develop. Everything in life takes patience and tender loving care. As far as whipping is concerned." I could see he was starting getting agitated with me. But I was in new, uncharted territory. Maybe if I read I would understand.

"For example, with you and Jezzy - you would not just take your dressage whip to her for any reason. But a few strategically placed taps can make her more responsive to your leg, or can make her reach farther under herself, creating better self-carriage."

"Okay, so you are telling me that I would only be whipped if I didn't lick your toes clean or better yet I forgot to say, 'Yes Sir'?" I was becoming very sarcastic in my tone and I did not care; I was not going to be treated like an animal.

"No, and you are missing the point. The media has demonized BDSM to the point that to an outsider it looks like abuse. It is not, by any stretch of the imagination. In a true BDSM relationship, the mantra is 'Safe, sane and consensual.' Adult participants must offer their consent; anything other than consensual activity is being done by a truly sick individual, and it is not BDSM.

"As far as spanking you goes, I offer spanking as a form of punishment and pleasure. Yes, the two are related. Yes, there are a few rooms in my house where scenes take place-for example, the fantasy of a Headmaster and a schoolgirl. If the schoolgirl had done something wrong, like talking in class or disrespecting the Headmaster, she would be spanked. But it would be done in the context of pleasure, and because both individuals mutually enjoyed the scene.

"For another example, in the bathtub when I pinched your nipples hard, your ultimate orgasm was so intense you passed out. That is what the pain is for, a more intense release. Does that give you a better understanding?" His tone never wavered during the whole conversation. I had never met someone as in control as he appeared. I was becoming more intrigued and excited by his explanation.

"No not really. I am not scared, just confused. I know you would never hurt me." I truly believed that.

"I will let that be enough for, now. Come, let's get some sleep; you are going to have a very long day tomorrow." He kissed my forehead and helped me into bed.

Drifting off to sleep I was not sure if I wanted to explore this world with him or not. I was more confused and scared than I had been before I started talking to him. I had very disturbing dreams that night, filled with pain and more pain. I did not like pain and did not understand how an orgasm could be more intense because of pain being inflicted.