by harding
Wow! Do NOT delay in getting us the next installment. I'm wet just thinking about it.
Wonderfully imaginative and creatively written. You got many fans on here, harding - I'm one of them....Keep up the good work and don't keep us waiting too long before the next installment!!!!
Definitely your best work to date. Hope there's not a long wait for part 2.
I like it this time too, except that I'm beginning to remember it from the first time so it's beginning to have a "been there, done that" feeling as I read.
It’s funny how many stories ostensibly written for a USA audience uses the UK phrase “tuck in” instead “let’s eat” or “dig in”. Even the ones who get the US spellings correct often make this mistake.
-- srgeek --
Great start. I like your stories.
Oh, by the way, it's "La petite mort" in french. "Le petit mort" just means "The little dead guy". French guy speaking.
Keep going.
A great start to what hopefully will be an amazing story, but from what I've read I am impressed and really into your story. 5 star rating my friend.
Chicago is on Lake Michigan and is several hundred miles from Lake Superior.
Ali tells the interviewer that Tom is her nephew.
This story is very well written and i love how unlike other authors you did not rush everything and did not have a moment where Ali saw Tom naked for the first time and suddenly she was not a lesbian anymore. That is highly unrealistic and makes the story less enjoyable as a result. I must prefer your slower and more realistic way of doing things.
I praise this first of many chapters along with 10'a of thousands to read it before me. That's a tribute by itself considering Literotica isn't recognized and rewarded with a NY Times best seller reviews - "hardings" works have earned that status and deserve the benefits. Thanks for provided such high quality material with a wonderful level of sincere HEAT and realistic emotions.
Im a slow reader (while traveling) but finally reached chapter 13 - the 'current ending". I still support Harding as a quality auther.
This fine piece could be a movie script/story line. It's also a wonderfully interesting character study. You have to read it all NOW! Harding has provided readers with a high quality erotic read. DO IT, for your next choice ... IF you haven't already.
This chapter is a mastery of the English language and its power to convey the range of human emotions. You capture confusion and conflicted desire better than anyone I've ever read . CONGRATULATIONS. On a scale of one to five this is a ten.
I am almost embarrassed to suggest a tiny nit-picky improvement: The stomach in the human is an organ in the digestive system, invisible and non-palpable except under extreme surgical or forensic examinations. Belly, torso, abdomen are what we admire and caress. You see it ( stomach) in everyone's work here in Literotica so it may just be me who is out of step.
Definitely one of the best on the site..... Brilliant....
I started at the wrong end of this series but I like this chapter the best.
I like the way you built the characters. The very few typos are a plus as well.
Good luck
Your story is great so far, but I hate to point out that Chicago is on Lake Michigan and not Lake Superior. Other than that, keep up the great work.
You have a real knack for character development. That's where your true talent lays, your ability to make your characters come to life is truly a wonderful gift. Your very good at setting a scene as well, and you seem to come up with plots that I've never read or thought of before. Even though a lot of them are similar, they are all each different scenarios. All of that praise is well deserved and meant, but something about this felt off to me and for once I can't place what it is. The characters at times felt so real to me like I know them, then at other times they felt more like actors playing a part to me. I don't know any better way to describe it. It reminds me of Jennifer Aniston on 'FRIENDS'... At times I believed she really was Rachel and others wear she was just an actress playing Rachel, hopefully you get what I mean there. This story had that same quality to it. I hope the other chapters resolve this issue, as I am Intrigued as to where this will lead.
That was so different than anything I have read here, it must continue! More erotic than the huge penis stroking into the wet vagina of a female with 38DDDs. More please. Now to find more of your stories.
That was a really good story to read - fun and entertaining. I would have preferred more sex but your story is probably stronger without it.
There is one technical/logistical item I would comment on: If one is traveling from Baltimore to New York City, or vice versa, the only way to go is by train, either the Pennsylvania RR, Penn Central or Amtrak depending on the year in which your story is set. I have been there done that in my high school years and also some of my college years, coming into NYC by bus or train. The train is much more faster than a bus - between Baltimore and NYC speeds over 100 mph are authorized and there are much fewer stops than on a bus. Plus their is meal and beverage service and in the computer age, places to plug in the laptop.
The greatest detriment to taking the bus, other than it being slow and long, stops, no meal and beverage service is that the bus station is not a place where the two cousins would want to be. Indeed, it could be downright dangerous for an attractive young woman and also for a naive young man not wise to the ways of a big city. So next time have your characters take the train if they are going to NYC from nearby cities.
Also I was surprised that Tom was not taking photos of Ali as she was masturbating just as she took photos of him will masterbating. That would have given Ali tremendous material for her art-for-sale business and also plenty of material for Tom to draw plus magnificent beat off material.
Bottom line I really enjoyed your story and will continue to read the entire series.