by tilliscream
This was a waste of time. The entire story feels rushed and a bit repetitive, I honestly think you have the concept for a great story but you lack the writing skills to turn it into one.
You are a very talented writer but the story needs to be edited. It makes it very hard to read. There are grammatical errors as well as spelling. I do editing for other writer's. And would be willing to help you out! Contact me.
Along, still needs grammar checked & corrected before submitting for posting.
So, short chapters? Check
Bad grammar? Check
Spelling errors? Check
All these things an editor SHOULD correct or at least inform you of. Sadly, this isn't happening here.
Just what every person needs. Love, and sex.. or should I say "hot passion". Love the story BIG TIME!!!!!
Yea!!!! another installment. Brilliant story line. This is getting better, keep up the good work! I can't wait for the next one, however if it's necessary to wait I will! Thanks again!
For writing this! Its shaping up to be a very good story!! Can't wait for more to be posted.. thanks!!