All Comments on 'Amanda's Need Fulfilled'

... But please, please please, learn grammar. Or find an editor.

According to my editor it is grammatically correct. Can you pin point?

You write from two different perspectives. Originally, you wrote it as a narrative, speaking as an omnipotent narrator. Then you changed perspective to first-person from the perspective of Ian. I think the first commenter just wants you to pick one specific way to tell the story.

Thanks, I see what you mean. Will work on it next time. The thing is I mainly do articles.

Best Alex.

I had an affair with a divorced woman with MS. She liked my desire to perform oral sex. I could not date her very long because I felt I was taking advantage of her, I felt I was using her desperation and just could not be dishonest.