All Comments on 'Amelia & Andrew: The Diamond Legacy Ch. 02'

How dare you stop here Donalde!!!!!! I will hold this against you until the next chapter posts. Ok I'm done venting now to my real comments. At the end of page one when I saw this was 5 pages I groaned and thought this will take forever to read, instead I found myself a the end of page 5 thinking I had breezed right thru all the pages. You truly out did yourself w/this chapter. At first I really had a problem w/A and A because they rushed off to have sex while they just left Cat dead in the other room, well that does still bother me. And I understand that they have no sire to guide them but this rush to kill when they feel someone is paying to much attention to their mate, well I'm finding it hard to like them. Not that I actually dislike them. It just seems so strange to have the main characters be so cold and brutal but maybe that's what makes your story so damn good. Anyway I so look forward to chapter 3.

I am looking forward to seeing what's next for these two (possibly three) and how they deal with the possible addition to their family, They have a lot of learning to do but seem to be adjusting fairly well. Hopefully help will be on the way.

The twists and turns are phenomenal. Catherine surprised me how well she adapted to her new life, and her glowing eyes.... The lawyer and the corrupt cop, well that is a match made in hell. LOL Good one!!!

I look forward to the next installment.

Thank you!

M1

I really like your story so far. I believe you you are a good writer with a lot of talent. I do have some problems, however. You need to have an editor or editors who know what he/she is doing. So many of your sentences contained stumbling blocks. I found it necessary to stop in the middle of important points and try to decipher what you meant. I am not an editor. I suggest you go to the editor pool through Lit. You may need more than one. He or she will have an astounding amount of work to just make the story readable in a reasonable amount of time.

I have talked with a couple my author friends, and they agree that you can't do it all by yourself. To paraphrase one of our First Ladies, It takes a community to raise a good story. I firmly believe that your writings are not in the "polishing a turd" category.

Where's the rest, and while I may lack the literary prowess of some of my peers, even though there were a few errors, they didn't detract from the flow of this story. So, please keep it coming!