All Comments on 'An Ordinary Man's Life Ch. 10'

... could do with some editing!!

Reads rather discordantly in places rather than flowing smoothly.

For instance, the last paragraph - "Donna was emotionally overwhelmed what happened this day and nearly cried." would have been better as "Donna was emotionally overwhelmed with what had happened this day, and nearly cried."

Good-ish story although could have been better!