All Comments on 'Angel Slut Ch. 01'

Overall I loved the story. Molly's desire to do something wild, but feeling trapped like an animal in a cage her whole life. The sex was hot, but I would have believed the story even more if there were a few slight details added.

For example, if she's a vrigin, she would have been sore after the kitchen floor...possibly a bit bruised and swollen, making more sex so soon a bit difficult and painful. You made no mention of that, but it's more realistic. An older man like Jesse probably would have known she would be sore, and NOT simply went at it on the kitchen table. He should have carried her to the bed and been more gentle the second time, and ended the story with the kitchen table scene the next morning at breakfast. That would have made the story more believable to me.

I visited Boston for the first time in July of 2006. Actually I totally identified with Molly, because when I left my tiny town for the first time, I ran to Boston too...although not for the same reason. So that being said, I have a few suggestions.

You should have mentioned Jesse's Boston accent, and played up on it when he talked, and mentioned something about her first impression of the city of Boston...maybe by her taking a walk in Boston Commons, riding the swan boats, watching lovers hold hands. Or playing tourist and visiting Trinity Church, The Harvard Museum of Natural History or observing the noise and pace of Faneuil Hall Marketplace at lunchtime. Even one mention of the sights would have pushed this story to a 100 for me, because it would have been more believable. If you want to write another story about these two, you could have him showing her some sights.

But you did capture Molly's character, her thoughts and emotions perfectly, and the tension between the two of them in her kitchen when he wasn't saying anything was intense! I'd love to read more!

LOVED it, as always. Love love love reading your submissions. Write more older man/younger girl......even a virgin, with the same intensity. If a virgin, then more details on how it's making her feel..... Absolutely love the screaming sex with the dirty talk.... Bareback, missionary with arms pinned on the rocking bed. Mmmmmmmm....makes my pussy cream everytime ;) keep writing!

Two women respond to this story, and neither one says anything about the writer failing to talk about birth control for the virgin. Jesse is supposed to be an "experienced lover" at 59 years old, and Molly has the example of her knocked up mother during her teen years and still has no signs of protection in her very first fuck - that does defy reality and causes some negative scoring for the story.

Oh I'm sorry. I'm just going to have to favorite this story. Excellent work!

First, she doesn't have to fuck the first guy she meets in Boston. Second (in answer to anon. above), her friend has told her to get birth control pills before she goes to Boston. Third, maybe she should have asked ol' Jess if he'd had a medical exam lately. I hear there are a few STDs in Boston.

Please revise this, I usually like your stories, but this one doesn't move me.

Suzzy in Seattle.