by Sealock
this was a beautiful story. you are an amazing writer! keep it up!
I loved the entire story! Well written. I felt the emotion from Jeff and Emily. Thanks for a great story.
my favorite part was when he says, "I'm lonely and I've never felt that before."
please keep writing, the Anger series was awesome!
This story is beautiful! I hope you continue to write as you have a very easy going, natural, and fluid talent.
Thanks for sharing your words with us.
I love your story and I've been reading a lot of fics here but your story was so good that I had to comment and its my first comment. It's unique and raw and intense. It seems to have this soulful, novel like literary feel which is why I really like it. Look forward to read more of your works. I think you're a really great writer and you hit the human emotions right on.
I keep checking back for more stuff. I'm tired of waiting! Write another godamned story already! BTW, I'm the guy who has written previously to solemnly intone my sympathy for the fact that you, my poor fellow, are indeed a writer.(I'm afraid that has to pass for adulation.)
And here you went back to telling your tale and boy, did you ever do that good :) Stay inside your tales and allow sex to come as it will..Don't force feed it with sex for impatient jerks, it only disrupt your story's rhythm.. and this was a story, not a 'wanking piece'.. Good for you.. Cheers Yoron.
Be careful about starting your sentences with too many of these. During the sex scene there was a paragraph where almost every sentence started with I. It distracts. Easily fixed. 5 stars. Loved the conversation. Very touching and erotic story. Would like to see you play around with the other emotions in new stories.. :)
You did not lose me anything. Your characters were so very strong. I could feel so intensely for Matt. Everything flowed well. I loved it when he flung himself naked into water, desperate for comfort. The fighting between them at the beginning was powerful. You increased this power as the story continued until the very end. Quite sexy and quite good. Noticed very few mistakes. Possible there were more, but no others jumped out at me. For instance, when he grabs her ass in bed and starts playing with it, i was confused as to which way her body was facing. I had thought shewas lying on her back, but then to look at her from behind, she must have been on her stomach? Anyway, you can double check that.
Also, the very end felt a tad unrealistic to me. More like another of his fantasies than real life. At same time, so many of these sorts of stories would end on a hopeless note. It was refreshing to see something positive.
Absolutely 5 stars. I've read a lot on here, and this surpasses the usual quality. :)