by Simplton
Very hot story, thanks!
If you could find an editor to help catch errors like your/you're, then/than, and typos, that would be even better.
I read the other persons coment, and they are right, need and editor to clean up the typo's and maybe give yourself a few pointers. Read some othe other people's stories, (not just for fun) but really read them, they can help you alot. I know they did for me.