All Comments on 'Aparna's Panties'

Hey dude,

You story has so much mass, such great build up. You rushed the whole thing and it lost all the flavour. Be more elaborate. Turn the pace slow and then see how the magic of your story works. I would suggest if you could be more lucid and rewrite the story again from the tops.

Story was too rushed and it then lost its meaning.

You are doing well but to quick to imagina6. Build up the scene with each details in length. Don't just write that she asked me to lick and started right away. Let the reader feel your eye sight. Your smell. Your touch. Make it gradual approach . Not just quickie sex.